Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Running with Deodorant.


Commercials are a bad influence. The incite people to do things, to try things they might never have thought of...


Once I saw that underarm deodorant commercial of the girl running through the field, her hair blowing and her life was perfect well ... I was just so peerly pressured ... I peered ....


I don't know what I was thinking when I packed the white dress and some underarm deoderant into the trunk ... it was a "field kit" and had I been stopped by the cops .. I could have been arrested right there and then cause everyone knows a field kit when they see one and it is highly suspicious.....

And one day I saw the perfect field and I got out, hands shaking, dressed, applied the deodorant, and ran ..... willy nilly ... back and forth .....


Ok obviously the girl in the commercial was a professional cause I fell ... three times ... twice in gopher hole and once on a cow patty .... and then I got burs all on my nylons, my dress was stained, I was sweaty and exhausted and I broke a heel ... and then the farmer came with his dogs and his gun ... and although I ran a lot faster and the wind through my hair resembled the commercial alot more, getting arrested and sitting with "Diamond Liz" and "Big Brenda" the amazon woman in jail with my white frilly dress on was tough. When it comes to sharing time and amidst the armed robberies, and beating the crap out of a wimpy girl in the bathroom ... talking about the big arrest for running with deoderant through a field well ... when you lose that kind of respect ... you realize ... television is a sham ....

(This post is part of a bail agreement arranged between Bliss and the courts. Although some facts in her story have been changed (like this happened last week not in her childhood) she gets the point across ... DO NOT RUN in fields with deoderant ... another important life lesson from the department of health .. we care about YOU!!)

SKIN: Black&Blue Outfitters
HAIR: Maitreya
LASHES: UK Couture
DRESS: Pinky*Gals
SHOES: Nardcotix
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