Thursday, August 26, 2010

Patch.com

yhb6

I joined the new Patch.com to find a date. It is kinda like Match.com only for the gently used and crazy .. the remnants .. think like a patchwork quilt where you work with what you have ... only not in the church basement and with better refreshments ...

I dreamed of meeting Mr. Right ... so I filled out the paperwork and waited. Finally the computer dinged and it was not just another penile implant offer and I was stoked ... meet him at 8, don't be late ... the computer matched us on a million points of compatibility ...

yhb4

He must be a rocket scientist, just like me ... thin, gorgeous, works out all the time ... just like me .... misunderstood in all his other relationships .. just like me.... travelled the world, well read, well educated, sought after by the throngs of the tired masses wanting our wisdom and our beauty ... NOT into it just for sex, never done this kind of thing before, enjoy long walks on the beaches and just looking for love ... wow we were gonna be perfect ...

What to wear is such a question..... but luckily Cole had the perfect dress and Jaxie the perfect shoes .. in case we wanted to do a little clogging later on or something ... I made my entrance...and played the "ta da" tape I had created for the occasion. I was "ta da-ing" all over the place until they told me to sit down and the mic was for karaoke not "ta-da-ing" and one girl offered me free plastic surgery .. in the bathroom ....

yhb3

I passed on her kind offer to rearrange my face and I waited and waited for Mr. Right ..... my perfect PATCH ...

yhb1
more pics here

And then he showed .. and lets just say .... the fact I said I loved Australia and that I liked someone who could just jump into life and go for it ... ummmm ... ummmmmmm....

I didn't care that he was voted most popular in his Trailer Life Advancement Group or that he was top pocket-protector salesman of the year or that he used to sing with Paisley Beebe back in the day ....

He didn't even know how to clog....

SKIN: Lion
HAIR AND HAT: Celestial Studios
LASHES: On the Catwalk
DRESS: Soleil
BOOTS: RRS
LOCATION: RRS
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