Saturday, September 25, 2010
Buns of Steel.
It's kind of funny how some people think "Buns of Steel" is an all modern interpretation of a "hard body." It just shows you that we don't invent anything new much anymore. See this church here .. it is at least an honest warning. "There be Rocks!!" (yes this is a shameless jab at Bluegum Lunasea and his comment about "there be dragons" and the two sayings make equal sense and I want to know if he knows about rocks and churches .. ha! I thought not!)
You see people who go to church and have to sit on hard hard pews for hours on end .. they invented "buns of steel." They also invented "numb bums" which morphed into "dumb bums" which now is known the world over as the term applied to people who insist that your life would be much better if you would only accept into your life - the loving ways of a man from Galilee who fed the poor, healed the sick, judged no-one and gave his life for all mankind.. These people want you to have the joy that they all have in their lives because of following and emulating these teachings ... and if you don't they will hate you forever, shun you, and probably invade your country and start a war with you, because evidently killing is a big part of what this guy taught only you have to learn to speak in tongues to see where it says that in the Bible and they only love potential joiners, once you are clearly not a joiner you have to wear the t-shirt with the big bullseye on the back and get in the line going to hell.
This was also the start of rapping by the way ....
"Sit up son, you are in church after all ..."
(you might want to do some of that spitting doo doo sound here for effect .. but put a towel over your screen and your children first ...)
"can't mom....my bum is numb, and this is dumb
why are we here? annnywayyyyy
When it is clear
dad reeks of beer?
I can't stand the pretense and lies ...
Why are you ignorning my cries ...
Mom oh mom, my bum is numb
I've a numb bum
It hurts some
dum diddy dum..... mom."
( not taken from Eminemenohpeeque I swear ... I made it up ... to simulate a conversation had in church in the early 1800's ....for historical edification. If you are in fact edified please send donations to the Bliss Numb Bum Historical Society .... we need new choir gowns ...with cushions sewn in the ass ...)
EYES: Peppermint Blue
EARRINGS: Lemania Indigo
BOOTS: Baby Monkey