Thursday, October 14, 2010

Old Soul.

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I look at this dress which I LOVE LOVE LOVE and then I think about the time one of my grandmother's friends ( and yes she had a couple) said that I was an "old soul."  I was about 5 at the time and I was not impressed.  I looked at her with her support hose, orthopedic shoes, house dress, sturdy underwear lines showing, slightly purple tightly permed hair and said, "Ya well lady you aren't exactly a spring chicken you know ..."

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I didn't even have a wrinkle on my face .. well until I stuck my tongue out at her and then ya .. there were a couple with the accompanying face.  That was one of the defining moments of my childhood.  I became a writer.  While I was locked in a closet for 3 weeks with a sore ass I found an old box with a chewed pencil and some paper and I became a writer.

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My first works was entitled - "Things NOT to say or do to ugly old Grown-ups No matter how stupid they are."  I still have it.  There are some real gems in there about what you should never say to them ...like when they say "shut your mouth and eat your food .. "  NOT a good idea to just keep forking your food into your closed lips and letting it fall in your lap. 

"Do you want me to come in there and give you something to cry about?"  Do not say, "I am already crying thanks."

"Are you finished being a smart-ass?"  Do not say, "no, actually I have about another 5 minutes in the routine, have a seat, popcorn?"

"If you fall and break your leg don't come running to me."  Do not say, "I promise ... I will only crawl back here ok?"

"Nice girls don't sit like that."  NEVER say ... "I know," and smile and continue to sit like that.  What they really mean is much more complicated.  They mean, "I don't want you to sit like that.  I want to pretend you are going to grow up and get married and bake cookies all day for your perfect children. I want to pretend that you will never have sex and the children you will have will be given to you by the angels and we will never ever have to have THAT discussion.  See the doily is perfect, the pillows are perfect, the china swan is perfect ... please sit there, oh ornament of a daughter, and be perfect too ... just pretend .. until the company leaves."

Grown-ups are as confusing now as they were during my 3 week stay in the closet.

HAIR: Lamb
SKIN: Glam Affair
LASHES: VonD
DRESS: Sonatta Morales
SHOES: Ora Trei (not available)
EARRINGS: Dark Mouse
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