Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Bible and Fluffy Socks.


I never understood what the big deal was with my grandmother .. she bought me a dress like this once .. for the annual Easter Church Parade .. you know ...


That's the excuse for everyone to buy a new spring coloured outfit .. dress the kids in ridiculous clothes to celebrate the rites of spring which when you think about it is about as innapropriate for Church as it gets ... but evidently "swaddling clothes" means lace and taffeta so you plop a lacy hat on a little girls head with an elastic band under the chin so tight it probably impacts the glands forever .. dwarfing them, stunting them .. something .. especially when your brother snaps it during prayer which results in backhands from the grandfather which defintely stunts your leg or teeth depending on where it lands ...

So evidently somewhere in the Bible it must talk about lace and yellow and patent leather shoes although none of the pictures of the little children gathered show that. Parents know that group of kids were just off to the side of the painting ready to come in next, and the artist ran out of canvas and paint. References to this clothing code have to be found in the bible somewhere .. probably right in the midst of all the begatting cause I fall asleep when I get to those ....


But as all good fashion pictures show .. you put on a lacy pretty dress and you head for a field, or a water fall etc take off your shoes, purse your lips and the wind blows through your hair .... but evidently there are no fashion pics in the Bible either cause when I went horseback riding through the creeks and dirtied and crinkled my satin, lace and fluffy socks ...and said "I felt the call of fashion .. want to see the pics?" the grandparents did not see the connection. I got the "come to Jesus" discussion with the grandfather and the belt again .... and a lecture on the importance of being "pretty" and "acting like a lady," both important tenents of what it means to be a Christian.

See that is why I am so confused .... we need another set of commandments of lace and toille and fluffy socks ... where are the Moses's of this world when you need them ...

HAIR: Analog Dog
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