Friday, December 24, 2010



I think it is important to recycle everything and Christmas is no exception.  All it takes is a little imagination and an extra large cask of wine and you can get tons of mileage out of anything associated with Christmas.

I like to gather all the sparkle cards I get.  This year I got an especially nice one from Paisley ... you just know when the mailman shows up at your door all glowing with sparkle dust that you hit paydirt ... and Paisley sends the dirtiest Christmas Cards .... I mean in a completely "pay" sort of way.  Now don't worry if you did not get any cards, just go to the hospital and "visit" the various wards …. seniors get lots of sparkle cards cause it helps them make out the reindeer and snowmen shapes on the winter scenes.

Take the cards and a dull knife and hold over a bag.  Scrape energetically.  Pour the scrapings into an old jewllery box and use sticky stars removed from your brothers old homework. Write "VERRRY EXPENSIVE CHI CHI POO POO BODY GLITTER" across the top of the box with a fancy marking pen .

Now you are ready to go out New Years Eve.  Get dressed.  Wrap left wrist with medical bandaids. Liberally apply glitter.  Sparkle, Sparkle, Sparkle.

Frequently take out glitter and sprinkle around during the evening.  Leave the box out often and when people ask, tell them a prince from overseas sent it to you ….. along with a rolls royce and a 100 carat diamond you were unable to wear tonight as you now suffer with repetivie arm injury from lifting it. Show them your wrapped hand ….look peeved … ( this look is achieved by remembering what it feels like to have to pee really bad then ramping it up with some "ved" ..).

You are sure to be the belle of the ball and everyone will be asking ... "Who was that fabulous fashionista ,.. was that Bliss Windlow?"  Don't be mad at them for thinking Bliss Windlow is the only Fabulous Fashionista .... some things just come naturally and I have had years of practice ...

If you are going to whine about it you can't use my idea .. I will sue you .. I came up with it first ... and don't even think about having glitter kitties or bunnies ... that was my idea ...

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