Saturday, December 4, 2010

Canada invents ALL the Really Cool Stuff.


Canada invented the etch-a-sketch …


It came from children sitting in front of their windows at home and using their thumb nails to etch pictures into the ice of lovely mountains and houses, and families and Christmas trees (pay no attention to the penis that my brother drew that one year …). Children would etch away the hours and then simply blow on the window, erasing it all and forming a new sheet of ice to etch in. Meanwhile parents everywhere grew hoarse screaming at kids to stop making a mess of their clean windows .. well at least the unartistic grandparenty ones did. Yup that was the original etch-a-sketch but for the modern ones … they had to make modifications of course.

Even though Canadian kids carry window panes with them everywhere just so they can etch when they feel creative, they decided to make the "window pane" smaller and more portable when they went global. (Think cell phones .. The originals were large pieces of luggage it took 3 men to lift into the trunk of the car and the little ones are often confused for tampax holders now they are so small - same technology at play here) Going global is something Canadians always have to contend with … just look at curling and synchronized swimming .. everyone does it now. The world sits at our feet and then when we aren't looking, steals all our great ideas.


They knew that most kids do not have super strong nails and fingers like Canadian kids and so they made little dials that even wimpy "not-Canadian" kids could manage. They also decided that iced windows would not work in places like the Sahara Desert and so they decided to use sand and because they wanted it to be high tech .. magnetic thingys.

Because they were worried about a massive halitosis outbreak, especially from the vegemited mouthed Aussie kids, from breathing , and because breathing on magentic sand thingys does not have the same outcome as breathing on iced windows .. they decided to shake the new "window" and hence incorporate exercise into the whole process (and thus it become a prototype forerunner for what would eventually become the WII - which, as you can clearly see now, is obviously also a Canadian invention.)

And then .. They painted it red in honour of our flag ….. and ketchup.

Now most children, the world over pick up their amazing etch-a-sketches and never give them a second thought .. but now you know .. .this is the rich history behind the famous toy.

OHHHH BTW (almost forgot) AND in a completely unrelated story .. Check out ebay .. I am selling 5,382 antique, collectible, historically significant, articfactual, etch-a-sketchs. Make sure you get one for your loved one for Christmas .. it will be the gift that keeps on giving …. trust me …

SKIN: League
HAIR: Dark Mouse
LASHES: Talon Faire
PANTS: Tres Beau
PURSE: Wanda's
LOCATION: Lusiadas
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