Monday, December 27, 2010

Things Discussed at the Christmas Dinner Table.

rlp2

The big topic this year was the Woolly Mammoth Cloning Project.

Yup that was it.

It is very relevant to Chritmas and all that it encompasses ... think relatives older than dirt and they only seem to arrange them around the table at Christmas. Like they bring them out and dust them off along with the plastic Santa that goes in the yard, and as long as you can remember they have looked the same. Well they are kinda dinoaurs and so are Woolly Mammoths - hence the appropriateness of the conversation ....

rlp3

"Did you know they have the DNA and they are going to go ahead and clone the Woolly Mammoth?"

"Um… ok .. ya that is swell .. thanks for sharing ..."

"Ya they want to see what happens?"

"Ok isn't that a little bit like lighting your farts with a blow torch?"

"Well consider it .."

"I am… YOU consider the cane toad, the rabbit … what if these things take hold and then they are running all over the place ?"

"Why would that happen?  They are Wolly Mammoths for crying out loud."

"Oh I don't know, because if you make one why not the second one .. they don't call them mad scientists for nothing.  AND,  maybe the mammoths didn't die from the Ice Age, maybe they died from exhaustion cause they are sex maniacs ..... and if that is the case we would be in so much trouble."

"OMG .. how much wine have you had?  How do you figure that?"m (lots of eye rolling and wine bottle hiding going on here)

"YOU are asking me?  You brought up this stupid conversation," (more wrestling for wine bottles - ancient relatives being sent flying in the melee and rolling under the table. I considered picking them up but thought they might be safer there and so left them)  "THINK ABOU IT .. if they ARE sex maniacs - and YOU CAN'T PROVE THEY AREN'T - you will have inbred mammoths multiplying ... and what if their hides are really extra tough, and they excrete a poison and hmmm .. here's the big thing .. they are bigger than MOUNTAINS … and they turn on us? I mean you can't just see a bunch of them on your lawn late at night and go out with a golf club like you can with the cane toads ….you can't lawn mower over them ….I mean this really begs the question just because we can should we? "

I was hyperventilating.

rlp1

That was pretty much it … we ate in silence and watched the cane toads as they lept past the window.

I think I made my point …

Woolly Mammoths .. Just say no.

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