Thursday, September 30, 2010
I did .. I almost had a career as a dancer once ... it was for the Spring Curling Bonspiel and they thought they would kick it off with a musical review ....
We did an artistic interpretation of Curling in both Clog and Ballet ... "Ballogging" we call it. It is like Ballet but you just do not have to be so light on your feet ... like you are on your toes but there is a lot of noise associated with it (but still a "no-screaming" rule ... that rule applies to anything in a tu-tu of course) We were all in our knit moose-head curling sweaters and tu-tus and I was playing the part of a "broom" where I sweep onto the ice and the sparkles fall. Well they weren't exactly falling .. we have the senior citizens running (you know not REAL running) around with the sparklers for birthday cakes and some of them jumped up and down until Mrs. Greenbottom accidentally touched her sparkler to Mrs. Abberly's hair and then there was all this real sparkling going on ....and smoke .. which was a neat effect for the "curling rock" and I as we pirouetted down the ice......
And then the fire brigade guys who were in the first draw for the bonspiel and were all there ready to get on the ice ..got all official like and leapt onto the ice and were screaming "Stop, Drop and Roll" and well it was a mad house .. all these seniors screaming and dropping, and we all got knocked over and some of us were clogged by the other "brooms" in the company and then the ambulance guys came and some of the seniors had drooled on the ice while they laid there and so they were stuck to the ice and they had to pick axe them off ....
It really ruined dance. That is why to this day there is a "no dance policy" at the curling bonspiels around the world and why Ballogging basically is a lost art and why I lost my heart for dance even though the review lady ... Mrs Beanersly from the Wheatland Review said I was the best "broom" she had ever seen and that she was so moved by my performance she could hardley speak. Well she didn't actually say those words to me but she gave me a head nod when she went by and well ... we Canadians are experts at reading head nods .. and believe me .. she meant that and more ....
So one day .. when the music speaks to me again ... and someone pays me the big bucks .. I may ballog ... and the world will weep ... it will be that beautiful ....
DRESS: Seldom Blue
EARRINGS: Ear Candy
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I think that we should just stop the pretending and go for the gusto. To heck with MS Universe and World and Galaxy and Closet .... we need a "Miss Cow" for SL. She can be the "Cow Princess." We can crown her just before we chose the "Drama Queen." There can be a parade and everything and Cow Princess dudette can ride a cow and marshall the parade. Drama queen gets a car .. only cause if she were to walk we would not be able to guarantee her safety ...
I think we should all get to vote and nominate the contestants and the winners ...
And then they can open up their own schools and train others in the "way of the drama cows" you know... how to bellow, how to MOOOOVE everyone else out of the way, milking each situation for all you can get ...how to avoid mad cow disease and "Hoof in mouth".... it could be very helpful .. I see cows messing up all over the place .. they need a school ...
to be herded to ..
and contained ....
all in favour?
Send me your nominations and we can announce the winner and award her the prize ... And all week vacation at the cow spa .. she can be up to her armpits in BullS**T. It is so good for the skin .... and we could use a break in here from all that for a week ...
OUTFIT INCL BOOTS: Coeur Noir
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
If someone would have told me growing up that tears were a beautiful fashion accessory ... well .. I just think of all those times my brother ruined his prom dress .....
SHOES: AW designs
Monday, September 27, 2010
Chaplin is one of those outfits that should be silly and fun but once again Kimmera Madison delights with her interpretation of a classic and turns it into one of my favourite outfits thus far.
I love the baggy pants caught by both the sack waist and the suspenders. This is the epitome of one of the more pivotal points in fashion where women began to insist on their right to wear pants.
In Britain during the Second World War, because of the rationing of clothing, many women took to wearing their husbands' civilian clothes, including their trousers, to work while their husbands were away from home serving in the armed forces. This was partly because they were seen as practical garments of workwear and partly to allow women to keep their clothing allowance for other uses. As this practice of wearing trousers became more widespread and as the men's clothing wore out, replacements were needed. By the summer of 1944, it was reported that sales of women's trousers were five times more than they had been in the previous year.
In the 1960s, André Courrèges introduced long trousers for women as a fashion item, leading to the era of the pantsuit and designer jeans and the gradual eroding of social prohibitions against girls and women wearing trousers in schools, the workplace and in fine restaurants.
Chaplin pairs the pant with a completely scandalous, sleeveless, see through ruffled lace blouse. It is almost a complete tease to the scandal caused by the "wearing of pants" and we have to smile that the pants were once considered the big "no-no" in women's fashion.
The gauntlet gloves are a great touch to finish the look. "Chaplin" retails for $600L at Tres Beau and is available in store now.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I had to write this letter to my kindergarten teacher yesterday ...
Dear Mrs. Beanermeister; (excuse me for presuming that you are still married but the belief is in keeping with the overall theme of my letter ... fairy tales....)
Hi. How Are You. I am fine. I spent my summer vacation swilling wine and running naked through open fields with the wild dingo .. I would tell you more but you taught me that "brevity is the soul of discretion" that one time when I was describing how we killed all the chickens that one summer and I had to help. How did I know all the rest of the kindergartners were going to talk about going to grandma's and petting fluffy cows? AND how was that fair? I lived with Grandma ..and the cows already ... big whoop. ANYWAY I am trying to be nice.
You know how I argued how ridiculous it was that Grandma in the Red Riding Hood story could ever have taken on the wolf or survived in his stomach etc etc ... and you made me go and sit in the corner? (oh and btw I still cannot see a corner coming without needing medication . thanks for the scars ...)Well I feel I need to apologize on that one.(the RRH story not the corner remark)
I now know that had lavender been involved, in any way, that any grandmother anywhere is capable of herculean effort to protect/obtain said lavendar. It is the "code of the lavender" and evidently as women age they become part of a secret society. Older women become obsessed with lavender. It is to them like blood to a vampire only more purple and not as runny ...
Yesterday I tried to move my mother-in-laws lavender to dust around it and well .... it took the paramedics 3 hours to pry her off me and another 8 hours in the emergency room to remove her false teeth from my arm.
I am a believer... providing you see to it that you ammend the story to read "Little Red was picking lavender for her grandmother through the forest as she skipped" and establish in some way that it was a reasonable expectation for the grandmother to know this and to be anticipating the arrival of said lavender. " In this instance, the grandmother would have had both the strength to fight and the will to survive without breathing in a stomach (provided she was swallowed whole) until the axed dude cut her out.
However, I am not giving in on the ability of a lumberjack to surgically effect a "grandma-ectomy" with his huge hands and tree cutting ax ... so officially .. I still think you are a sorry excuse for a kindergarten teacher and really hated those handprint things you made us do .. but I can admit when I am wrong. Add the lavender to the story and you have an apology.
Love and kisses
SKIN: Dutch Touch
JEWELS: CDC - no longer available
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Sometimes in Australia when it gets really hot and I think "gee I miss the frozen Northland .. the true north strong and free..." and I feel like standing on guard a bit.... I just go ahead and get naked (if I am not already) ....
... and I open the freezer and take out all the packs of meat and berries and pause for a moment to think of all the pemmican this could make back home ... and then climb in the freezer and pretend that I am home .. running in the annual "be one with the moose" run (only just we are naked .....the meese are not... it makes us feel more mooselike ...)
That only lasts for a few minutes until A - either my face starts to stick to the side of the freezer and I have TOLP "tongue on lampost panic" - I have PTSD over those experiences let me tell you .. scarred for life ... and I am over mising the cold .. or B - the hubby comes home and does his best imitation of "elk in heat " bellow only it is not THAT kind of heat. You know where it starts out kinda deep and belllowing and ends up in this strangled bugling screech?? Ya .. that kind and he goes .... "BBBBBBBBBBBlisssssssssssssssss.....(screeching now) WTF are you doing????? " (then all sound stops and there is just this hissing noise as he truns purple and rushes to get the garage door down and stand between me and the crowd of neighbours that have gathered)
And I never tell him the truth .... Aussies would never understand the call of the snow and the moose ... so I lie and tell him I was looking for the pack of Witchetty Grubs - does he know if we have any left? It works every time .... and the moment has passed ... and I lovingly pack away my chap stick for next time ..
OUTFIT: Coeur Noir
Friday, September 24, 2010
It's kind of funny how some people think "Buns of Steel" is an all modern interpretation of a "hard body." It just shows you that we don't invent anything new much anymore. See this church here .. it is at least an honest warning. "There be Rocks!!" (yes this is a shameless jab at Bluegum Lunasea and his comment about "there be dragons" and the two sayings make equal sense and I want to know if he knows about rocks and churches .. ha! I thought not!)
You see people who go to church and have to sit on hard hard pews for hours on end .. they invented "buns of steel." They also invented "numb bums" which morphed into "dumb bums" which now is known the world over as the term applied to people who insist that your life would be much better if you would only accept into your life - the loving ways of a man from Galilee who fed the poor, healed the sick, judged no-one and gave his life for all mankind.. These people want you to have the joy that they all have in their lives because of following and emulating these teachings ... and if you don't they will hate you forever, shun you, and probably invade your country and start a war with you, because evidently killing is a big part of what this guy taught only you have to learn to speak in tongues to see where it says that in the Bible and they only love potential joiners, once you are clearly not a joiner you have to wear the t-shirt with the big bullseye on the back and get in the line going to hell.
This was also the start of rapping by the way ....
"Sit up son, you are in church after all ..."
(you might want to do some of that spitting doo doo sound here for effect .. but put a towel over your screen and your children first ...)
"can't mom....my bum is numb, and this is dumb
why are we here? annnywayyyyy
When it is clear
dad reeks of beer?
I can't stand the pretense and lies ...
Why are you ignorning my cries ...
Mom oh mom, my bum is numb
I've a numb bum
It hurts some
dum diddy dum..... mom."
( not taken from Eminemenohpeeque I swear ... I made it up ... to simulate a conversation had in church in the early 1800's ....for historical edification. If you are in fact edified please send donations to the Bliss Numb Bum Historical Society .... we need new choir gowns ...with cushions sewn in the ass ...)
EYES: Peppermint Blue
EARRINGS: Lemania Indigo
BOOTS: Baby Monkey
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Jaxie Oceanlane sent me her new shoes and I was like so thrilled cause it meant I could stop begging in the streets .... cause grandma is not talking to me anymore after yesterday's blog and finding out I took the $20 she sent the kids for their birthday. Who knew she was working over at Zindra all this time ....and that she reads my blogs ... well she doesn't anymore .. now there is only me and 3 of my alts that read them.
I really love these shoes .. I like to imagine there is a little mini shakespearean king living in my shoe just kinda standing there when someone zipped this puppy up and caught his shirt in it and he was like .. "whoa close call" (looking down) and I was like soooo grateful cause had it not been his lacey shirt well .. I don't even wanna go there ...
Jaxie obviously made these for me .. I know this on account of the fact they match the little blue butterfly on the blissou tag ..see? Yup she did these babies just for me ... people are like that all the time around me you know .. they are always going ... "hey Bliss .. you beautiful fashionista you ... can I fall all over myself trying to buy your attention?" And I am like ... "ya sure ... go for it .. " cause I don't like to get in the way of people and their dreams ....
I like these shoes so much I printed a picture of them and cut them out and taped them to my feet. I showed them to my hubby and whimpered alot and he asked if I wanted him to call his mother again .. so I stopped. But he looked at the picture and then went and got my birkenstocks and stood there holding them with this stupid look on his face and that kinda arched eyebrow that I suppose "begs the question" on some people but on him just looks like he is constipated. I looked down at the paper taped to my ankles and at the shoes in his hand and I asked him what his point was. "No-one could wear those in real life," and he snortolled (thats where you snort and roll your eyes at the same time .. usually his mother does it but hey there is such a thing as genetics you know and his brother got his moms hips, her curly hair, the car, and her house ... and my hubby got her snortoll. I told him that was irrelvant ...
He said, "You would be crying in about 2 nanoseconds from the pain, while at the same time having to hold your nose to stop the bleeding .. those things are soooo ridiculously high."
I looked at him and slitnarled ....which I inherited from my mom - narrowing the eyes into slits and snarling at the same time - and said "Ya, but damn ... that would mean at least one nannosecond of complete stunningness!!"
He said, "Heck I would applaud you if you could even take a step in them..."
"Applaud? I would want the Mormon Freaking Tabernacle Choir to be singing the Hallelujah Chorus!"
So I spent the rest of the day walking around in my taped on paper shoes and singing the Hallelujah Chorus. It was especially effective when we had to go by hubby's work to pick up some papers .. I got alot of money for some new shoes out of that visit ... I had no idea my hubby could move that fast! The shoes are not nearly as nice as these but I do like them alot ... even if I had to hand over the paper shoes, the tape and hubby gets to keep the ink for the printer in his locked drawer ....
Red River Saloon
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
The thing about SL fashion is that it cheapens us ... you know .. there is some dignity in asking for $200 to buy a pair of shoes in RL ... People know you are not shopping at Payless.
But when your friends and family leave the room and your are couch surfing looking for loose change .. you know you have been reduced to SL fashion maniac .... Normally you don't bother with things like quarters and dimes but in SL ... a few of those and you have a GOWN!!!! I have been reduced to taking pop bottles back to the store! I have a lemonade stand on the street corner. I even frame my childrens finger painting and claim it is priceless art when I try to sell it at swap and meets."
So now when the kids go .... "Meh Grandma sent me $20 what am I suppose to do with THAT?" I encourage their outrage .. "you know what .. you are right .. you can't do a darn thing with that .. you know what .. you should protest it. Protest it by just saying "here mom" and handing it over to me so that Grandma knows that you are worth sooo much more than a measly $20. Cause I know you are!" (kiss kiss on top of forehead while taking the $20 out of their little sweaty hand).
Then you pat them on the back and go shopping and then let them look at how pretty mommy looks in her new ballgown, hair and shoes ... take a picture and send it to Grandma .. she needs a wake up call about the high cost of Real Life ...
EARRINGS: U&R Dogs
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I don't think people should try to explain Disco to anyone. This is one of those times where you should become completely Fischer Priceian in your efforts and just point and click .. show them the pictures and turn the music on and try to escape from the room ....
I find stop, drop and roll works well in a number of situations ....
Let John Travolta explain John Travolta ...
The leisure suit thing has been added to the etiquette book - never discuss religion, politics or leisure suits ... trust me .. Emily contacted me earlier today and asked me to add it ...
HAIR: Hair & Hair
EYES: Eyes by Starla
Monday, September 20, 2010
Yes this pic was born out of great pain .. not sure whose was worse (I love it when misery become a competition sport even though I never win cause like some of my friends are professional miserabillies and I just can't keep up - they have medals and everything but my mother in law .... world champion!) I think my kids would argue it is their pain that wins this one..
They are arranging a search party for my mind as we speak. If we can't find it by noon .. they are taking me to Walmart to get a new one .... evidently there is a big sale on those and early halloween candy left over from last year .. can't wait ... I have my support hose on and am sitting in the car with breath mints ... love hugging those Walmart greeters ....
SKIN: She Wants Revenge
LEGGINGS: Shop Seu
BOOTS: Mrs Schmidt
Saturday, September 18, 2010
I think it is important that we be supportive to our parents and tell them the things they want to hear. We cannot possibly understand the enormous pressure they are under going to bridge each week and hearing Elaine talk about her son the doctor, and Andrea talk about her daughter who works on wall street. They can't possibly say my son is the pixelated sex god in SL ... he has 8 women that kneel before him and call him "master" - no matter how great you are at pixelated sex. MOM just cannot say that at bridge ... with Elaine .. and .. Andrea ...
So the other day when I noted that flickr now prompts you with your pics ..."Grab the HTML/BBCode?" I was stoked cause it clearly says in there - capitalized and all - BBC.
So now I tell mom I write for the BBC ... cause it is logical .. if they have given me the code they are clearly reading my blogs and I am so proud .. and mom .. she is stoked ....
See that is the full circle of life and meaning ... your parents lie to you when you are growing up about important things like Santa, the Easter Bunny, and appendages falling off and hair curling and then you grow up and lie to them.
I feel so warm and fuzzy right now I now if I jumped up I would stick to the ceiling ....
SKIN: Fhang Candy
HAIR: Bliss Couture
LASHES: On The Catwalk
NECKLACE: Sonatta Morales
SHOES: AW Designs
Friday, September 17, 2010
I think Moms should just mind their own business .. I mean how many perfectly good realtionships have they ruined with their meddling and saged advice? Who eats sage anyway other than in turkey stuffing???
We wouldn't need places like eHarmony.com or Babes, One hour red light special.com if moms just minded their own business. The names Amber and Bambi might actually be ones used in nunneries instead of 24 hour porn sites if not for moms forcing their sons underground. I think moms are just bitter cause they know they couldn't wear a dress like this anymore and so they are all like .. whoa '"those kind of girls are not the ones you bring home to mother!" I am thinking, if I was a guy I would be like ... BONUS!!! I wasn't planning on hanging out with you anyway so take my plate off the dinner table!
But then ever notice how there isn't any pictorial evidence of what SHE wore when she met your dad? Or of the cautions HIS mother gave him about HER? No we just have the sort of oozing resentment and really lousy Christmas gifts to give us some idea of how she felt ... and really now that your mom is 50 .. you think grandma could lay off with the crying in her peas at every family dinner and the holy grail she has set up for the dance partner she thought would have been perfect for Stevey ....
I like to take my mom by the hand and tell her "clothes don't make the woman mom .. really ... here look in dad's closet ... see all his dresses ..... and he is definitely NOT a slut!"
I think moms need us to help them get over themselves sometimes ....
SKIN: TIK TOK New!!
LASHES: On The Catwalk
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Velours Mahogany has created a new skin for their Freckles Designs called "Lou." She handed me the sample without any pressure to blog if I did not want to. I wanted to. One of the things I found most interesting was her comment that "this one is quite a bit younger."
I learned early on from Carissa Crimson who designs Silhouette Shapes that a designer often wears their creation for days while they tweak it. I decided then and there, more than a year ago, that I would stop trying on anything and deciding in seconds "yes" or "no." What I found was that my initial reaction had nothing to do with my final decision. Items, whether it be hair or skins, that I intially loved, I often did not care for by the time I wore them, or even tried them on several times. And conversely, those I did not care for at first, I quite often really appreciated at the end. I learned to take the demos, to take them home, and not to jump the gun.
I learned to look at the blogs and figure which skins that someone I followed looked good on her and me. I learned to figure out which ones she wore, I would not be able to. I learned to always be willing to try them for myself and make up my own mind and not be influenced by the fact there was a stampede to the store.
I found it takes time with skins to adjust from the one you are wearing to the new one ... it takes time to see the possibilities, it takes time to try different looks, hair and clothes .... and for the amount of money skins cost .. why would you ever let anyone rush you to buying something you will not wear??
I put this skin on expecting to see a little girl and that is not a look I often play with. Initially I thought, "nope this is not going to work," and then I had to leave the skin on while I did something else, tried on some different hair, and I was hooked. I began to see the possibilities and I played with it and I tried some of the other make-ups and then the different skin tones and I thought wow ... I like this ... and I do not think it looks like a little girl at all ...it could .. but not the way I did her.
Lou comes with so many options and lipsticks and skin tones and really fresh and pretty mak-ups. Velours is just beginning her efforts into more grown up skins and I can see the improvement from the last one to this one and it is darn excting to be part of a growing talent. I wish her all the luck in the world and cannot wait to see what she comes up with next.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I know no-one in North America wants to hear it but it is Springtime here in Australia and just so gorgeous already.
I had to put this dress on and romp through Second Life to celebrate. I am actually recreating this dress in real life although I have to say ....
.... the little buggies and fishies don't look that great once the hot glue hits them from the gluegun ... I guess that is why Vita and her sister are the fab designers and I am not ...
Monday, September 13, 2010
I read a report on the conflicting message that parents give their kids and the damage it does .. and I could not agree more. I am definitely damaged ...because of all the conflicting messages ....
I was always so confused as a kid ... all the little animals made sounds .. heck .. even the clock made sounds ... but what sound does the lowly bunny make?
And where is the logic... parents say be quiet as a mouse .. a mouse squeaks .... be quick as a bunny??? Well personally it would make more sense to say be quick as a mouse and as quiet as a bunny ....
Hence I am working with bunnies to help them make more audible sounds so that parents everywhere are not made to look so stupid ...
Friday, September 10, 2010
I wonder about how things got started sometimes. Like take head bands for instance. Did they start with native people tying their hair down with bits of leather to keep it out of their eyes, or maybe wrapping some material around to keep the sweat out of their eyes? Cause we already had ponytails to get it out of their face and hats to keep it from blowing around .. so why why why?
Oh wait I know ... one day the fashion people sat down and said ... "pain .. we need more pain" and so they said .. "ok ... lets go for that sensitive bit on the bone just behind the ears" ... and they came up with a bit of plastic with rows of sharp little teeth and formed the plastic so that the most pressure on the whole thing was exactly on that bone.
This lead to now being able to walk down any street and seeing women, bravely wearing their headbands with that sort of cross eyed throbbing eyeball syndrome ... from the pain .....
We sell them in racks in stores and we don't even have to put up a BDSM sign ... no folks this is a sure sign that BDSM is creeping into mainstream .....and we should all grab our children and run ....
What's even more disturbing than the fact these things were made ... is the fact we then wear them ....
I think this is EXACTLY the thing that prompted Einstein to insist that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results ....
Excuse me .. I need to go take my headband off .. killer headache .. no idea why ...
SKIN: TIK TOK
HAIR: Glam Affair
SHOES: Heart & Sole
Thursday, September 9, 2010
See we get cheated out of these kinds of things in the frozen northland. Comes Halloween in California or Florida and people get to dress up as little fairies and in harem costumes etc ...
In the Northland .... it is always .. why don't you go as a ghost again and that way you can wear your snowsuit underneath the sheet and no-one will know .. at least you will be warm? Or hey .. why don't you go as a "Snowmobile driver guy?" Or hey this is exciting ... and "old farmer guy." And when they get really inventive? Why don't you go as "underwater diving guy?" You can wear your brown snowsuit (cause a Canadian has one in every colour - we love our nylon and polyester padding let me tell you) and we can put the old fish bowl on your head like an old old "underwater diving guy."
I still have the scars from where the fishbowl froze to my neck and they had to pry it off ....
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
I love those things, you know when you pick up a barbie size pair of tights and hold them up to you and nod in complete acceptance that THESE PUPPIES are going to fit you? And so you roll them up and stick your toe in them and begin the pushing and pulling .....
And you lay down, and you hop, and you get them over the knees and would love to do the dance of joy but that dance is not choreographed for face plants and so you read the labelling on the box the tights came in, trying to catch your breath for the next heat in the tight olympic triathalon, and see they added "lycra" to beautifully shape and smooth you and you "bless" those darn designers of tights ... and continue .. (who knew lycra could be so damn painful??)
Grunting .. groaning...moaning ....jumping, twisting, turning ... and then you get them up to your hips ... you can't breathe at this point and you feel like you are being sawed in half but you kinda roll them up the rest of the way and pull and pull and pray the crotch might eventually be lifted up just a tad above your knees so you don't duck waddle when you strut ....
And you pray that you can pull them right up under your breasts so that the skin and bone it has now squished into a huge muffin top enhances and looks like "fullness" instead of an extra set of udders and you are now officially prepared to mother a litter ....
And you can't sit down ... cause if you do, they roll right down to your thighs again and you look like you are sporting an flotation device under your dress and believe me, none of your "imagined rolls" you were trying to hide with the "extra scientific lycra support" were ever remotely that big ....
But we do it for fashion and hubbys and boyfriends everywhere should appreciate it and not be like mine ....
... and hang that sign "sausage" over my neck ....
HAIR: ETD (closed)
DRESS: Ema's Secret
JEWELLERY: ALB Dream
LOCATION: Sonatta Morales
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Sometimes getting from where we are to where we want to go is tougher than it should be ...
The weeds of our past can hide it from our view and make it seem impossible to ever navigate our way ...
That's what weed whackers are for ..
or dynamite ...
DRESS: Dany French Touch