Sunday, October 31, 2010
Ever noticed that when you go to a doctors office and are waiting to see him that every single person does this ....
They go to the desk and register, then come back and sit down and .. SIGH ... Then they pick up a magazine to read and ... SIGH .... Then they stop at some point in reading it and ... SIGH ....
Check it out next time you are there ... I think everyone just wants to impress on everyone that they are really really really sick ....
I am very competitive and like to make a game out of it ... I call it waiting room Bingo .... under the G ... gallstones .... anyone got those? Under the B .... loBotomoy .. anyone had one? Under the O ...open heart surgery ... anyone? Under the I ...itchy hemorrohoids .... BINGO!!!!!! I win ! I am the sickest ... WHOOOOOOT!
That way the time passes much quicker and you bond with people who may be your room mates very soon ... and frankly once you put on a hosptial gown amongst a crowd of people .. that's a bond that cannot be broken .. so start early .. in the waiting room .. ice- breakers ... you will thank me .. I promise.
More Pictures here.
SHOES: 24's Shoo Shoes
Saturday, October 30, 2010
When we go on trips we like to get out and walk around ... here I am in the hills ... this was a lovely day ....
except for the hubby who never plays along ...
"You're doing it again."
"Well we are in the hills and I am doing a show ...."
"For the cows?"
"Those aren't cows silly .. I am a professional and professionals can work with whatever you have ,... I am recreating the Sound of Music .... that one there is Friedrich .. that one Liesel ..."
"Um it doesn't sound like music ..."
"We are just rehearsing right now."
"Ok look I am going to walk ahead .. you count to 100 and stay right here until I am out of sight ok? Then feel free to carry on with your "production." I will meet you back at the car ...."
"Don't you want to play the part of Mother Superior? You would be perfect for the role?"
He left me standing there. But the bus full of Japanese tourists were happy to help out .... at times like this I only have one thing to say ... bless the karaoke machine ... and the cows were awesome ...
HAIR: Diversity Hair
Friday, October 29, 2010
I think dancing is much more fun when you make it a contact sport with points and a clear winner.
You should be able to incorporate ballgown bowling, and tackling into the movemements. Just like with the jive where you pick the girl up and twirl her over your head and around your body etc ... only this time you use her like a weapon .. sort of "assisted martial arts" and you drop kick the other "teams." You could have penalties like .. kicking below the belt and you get two minutes of "riverdancing" no arm movements allowed (try lifting the girlfriend with your teeth).
Last team standing at the end of the song "wins!" Now THAT I could really get into ... gee if only they had done this back in Junior High ... wow .... I bet my boyfriend wouldn't have been so interested in kissing Colleen if she had been missing a few teeth .....but then again .... he was a hockey player so maybe he would have ...
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
My kids were always thrilled on Christmas morning to open gifts from their grandma. Nothing says loving quite like a specially chosen pair of cotton briefs ... her size.
She was one of these women who saved everything and "found them" unexpectedly .. years later ... years and years later ... years ... lots and lots of years ...
Hence we were the recipients of stale - whitened chocolate easter eggs, stale perfume from the 1950's .. Evening in Paris .... and Avon .... and her underwear ....
Maybe it was the code of the seniors .. maybe seniors do things like that ...
"Oh dear ... I've had a little accident..."
"No problem I have an extra pair in my purse .. here..."
But .. watching your skinnier than all get out 4 year old unfold her Christmas gifts, a new pair of cotton briefs sooo big that her hands were stretched out wide and she still had not pulled them taut .. and grandma smiling proudly and her looking at me over the panties with a pathetic little question in her eyes .... "Mom?" ....made no sense.
However later that night, with Grandma gone ... my 4 year old and my 7 year old daughters put them on, at the same time, pulled the waist band over their heads and ran around the house looking like a science experiment gone wrong .....we took pics ....
When underwear attacks ....
HAIR: HAIR & HAIR
EARRINGS: Ear Candy
BELT: House Of Hucci
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
There is definitely a communication gap. Definitely. My grandparents made NO sense whatsoever.
I mean they couldn't even just ask ... "hey would you like some butter?" and let you say "no thank-you .. I don't like butter," NO NO NO ... there is a test ... find a buttercup and hold it under your chin ... THAT tells you whether ... unbeknownst to you ... you like butter or not.
And try to find a buttercup in February ... wow .. we spent three months at the table once waiting to find out if one of the hired men liked butter ... no-one touched their bread, we were that rivetted to know ....
Finally someone found a buttercup .... (good thing I had to pee like crazy). They held it under his chin .....and ...
It was yellow ... He did ... like butter .. .although how anyone could see with 3 months of beard growth ....
but not sure now seeing as once we finally passed the rancid butter and spread it on the moldy bread he had to be rushed to the hospital...
I don't think he likes butter anymore ....
HAIR: W&Y Hair
SHOES: B! Fashion
Monday, October 25, 2010
We are strong, true, free and north (not necessarily in that order) and sometimes, just because we are bored stupid, we like to test ourselves against the true measure of all humanmankindedness and just take on the snow ....
Here I am marching right out in my heels and my grogeous flirty dress taking on the snow ... stomping proud .. screaming at the heavens .. "HAHA ... try to take me. I am Canadian .. I laugh in the face of snow ... HAHAHAHAHA!
Note the steely determination in my eyes ( note the expert PS work at removing all blue tones from the picture - especially my lips?)
(Missing from the article ...Pictures - me doing face plant in the snow, emergency rescue team prying me off the ice, me in hospital missing part of my nose that fell off from being frozen, me in hospital after plastic surgery to reattach nose, me on The SWAN .. winning hands down on the episode called .. The Noseless one .. renosed .. and now a beauty Queen.)
LASHES: The Obscene
HAIR: Head Mistress
DRESS: B! Fashion
JEWELLERY: JD Designs
Thursday, October 21, 2010
See you probably look at this old door in the forest and think ... wow artistic .. someone set that up for a completely artistic deal ...nope ...
My grandfather would have done that .. he would have bought it at an auction because there was some good wood in that, if someone were to strip it down, sand it, pull the nails out and build a beautiful curio box. He was like that .. always buying stuff at the auction cause he could see the possibilities if someone would just "insert anything that is completely unlikely and would take hours and years to do" OR becasue "you never knew...."
The problem is that "someone" never visited our house and we never did know ....
So we had random doors in the forest, broken lights in the house and my personal favourite ... a whole box of size 12 pointy pointy toe highheeled shoes that when he bought them, the local men cheered and were very very friendly to him after that .....
He thought maybe we could gluegun some macaroni on them, spray paint them and make planters out of them ... rrrrright ......
SKIN: Unique Megastore
HAIR: Analog Dog
DRESS: Anubis Style's
JEWELLEREY: Dark Mouse
POSES: Body talking
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
You know when you were little and you were so poor all you had to dress your Barbie in was toilet paper dresses????
And you made tissue flowers ..
Ok well I am still doing that and I would just like to say that they are a lot more practical than traditional dresses and flowers ... seriously ...
You just sit and ask yourself what you do with a real bouquet of flowers and a real designer gown stranded out on the middle of nowhere and you really have to go to the bathroom ... or in that outhouse you finally managed to find down at the park and there is no toilet paper ...
I rest my case.
Toilet paper dresses, on ebay, designed by Blissy .. buy the fat pack....
HAIR: ETD still closed
SHOES: Jimmy Chau Shoes
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
I have admitted I am not a spider lover. I understand Miss Muffet and her abandoning her tuffet completely ... except I would have used the tuffet to club the spider to death ....
So why did I move to a country with some of the biggest and baddest spiders on the planet?
.... because I was reallllly dumb .... and all the ads showed Koala's NOT spiders.
They don't tell you that every morning you have to go out and free the little school children from the ginormgantuous spider webs so they can make the bus ....
And again .. I am very bitter about the naming of these things... it is simply not fair to call them Banana spiders when it gives one false expectations that if you avoid bananas you are safe. These are "hang freaking everywhere spiders" .... in fact I have NEVER seen one on a banana .. ever .. liars .. all of them ... covering for the spiders .. pfft.
SKIN: Glam Affair
LASHES: Flugeln Brise
SHOES: FJ Designs
Monday, October 18, 2010
People get all hepped up every Halloween looking for scary spook houses, scary costumes, scary movies, scary graveyards to hang out in (which is just so darn hard to find these days cause graveyards are such swell places to hang out most times ...)
But I have Halloween every day of the year at my house .. well the scared bit anyway ...
It happens every morning when I wake up and pass the mirror .. when I catch a glimpse of myself and scream and ask "how the hell did THAT happen??"
SKIN: Glam Affair
LASHES: On The Catwalk
EARRINGS: Dark Mouse
SHOES: Pixel Mode
Sunday, October 17, 2010
It's a Halloween Sale at Seldom Blue! 50% off!
Now this is my idea of Halloween ... send the kids out and you stay home and answer the door and hand out all the ummmmm ... candy ... and dressed like this!!...Well .. lets just say someone is sure to be bobbing for your apples in no time ....
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The passing of time is very much like the passing of gas .. but not as stinky .. all the time ....kinda ...
As you get older what used to take centuries to pass, happens in a mere snap of the fingers ... especially sex ... way too much quick snapping going on .. someone needs to do something about that .... I think that may be why the Goreans are so big into snapping fingers to order people around .. snapping hides a myriad of short comings .. especially if the hands are carefully placed when snapping to block the view ...
The other thing about time passing is that it takes us prisoner and takes us with it. That is why I am organizing a "Let's jump off the Time Train Day." At precisely noon tomorrow lets all throw away the clocks and the calendars and refuse to be defined anymore by the passing of years. Grab some sticky tape and put it over the clock on your computer screen. (or ask one of your co-workers to stand there and hold their thumb over it .. especially if you have that kind of power with your position at work ...)
The beauty of this is .. as you age your memory goes .. so after a couple of days with no clock or calendar you will forget how old you really are and you can make up an age and be that age ...
Think of it this way ... when you die, tragically in your mid twenties, everyone will be so upset there will be wayyy more people at your funeral. People look at 90 year olds who die and go, "ya expected that, no biggy." Only the children you have managed not to alienate who don't know you blew your life savings show up ...and the three other people who have alzheimers and don't really know you anyway. .. but a young 20 year old .. everyone will be there ...
And I don't know for sure .. but I would imagine .. if you arrive in Heaven and there is a big party going on back on earth .. you get some extra perks .. like maybe some extra sparkles around your halo or something .. not sure .. but definitely extra Philadelphia cream cheese ....
SKIN: Glam Affair
LASHES: Flugeln Brise
Friday, October 15, 2010
Bustled, embroidered, etched, draped and feathered... Milea is an intoxicating offering from the soon to be wed, Kimmera Madison of Tres Beau. Love must compliment her because it shows in her latest pieces, of which this is one example. Milea is spellbinding with its rich black and purple presentation that creates an air of drama and mystery.
The textures and work in this dress are probably some of the finest I have seen in SL. The bodice consists of sheer black lace for the shoulder area that attaches to purple leather in the corset. She created a panel in the back of silver embroidery and repeated it on the edgings at the front. The corset is closed with gold frogs.
The worked black leather of the overlay on the skirt is a myriad of lines giving texture and flow and creates an almost armour feel before giving way to the layers of sheer purple lace that dance around the legs. Dark embroidery on the overskirt also creates dimension and drama. Kimmera sculpts the skirt into a shape that is just so sexy and fun - you will love this addition to your SL wardrobe.
The shoulders are covered in a fantastic purple feathered wrap and scrunched leather gloves are added. The hat is simple and effective and takes this outfit right to the top with "Wow" factor.
You can dress the outfit down by removing the hat, the feathers and the overskirt to have a really hot mini dress that is much more subtle but equally ramped.
This set is in store now and retails for $800L.
HAIR: Analog Dog
DRESS: Tres Beau
SHOES: FJ Design
Thursday, October 14, 2010
I look at this dress which I LOVE LOVE LOVE and then I think about the time one of my grandmother's friends ( and yes she had a couple) said that I was an "old soul." I was about 5 at the time and I was not impressed. I looked at her with her support hose, orthopedic shoes, house dress, sturdy underwear lines showing, slightly purple tightly permed hair and said, "Ya well lady you aren't exactly a spring chicken you know ..."
I didn't even have a wrinkle on my face .. well until I stuck my tongue out at her and then ya .. there were a couple with the accompanying face. That was one of the defining moments of my childhood. I became a writer. While I was locked in a closet for 3 weeks with a sore ass I found an old box with a chewed pencil and some paper and I became a writer.
My first works was entitled - "Things NOT to say or do to ugly old Grown-ups No matter how stupid they are." I still have it. There are some real gems in there about what you should never say to them ...like when they say "shut your mouth and eat your food .. " NOT a good idea to just keep forking your food into your closed lips and letting it fall in your lap.
"Do you want me to come in there and give you something to cry about?" Do not say, "I am already crying thanks."
"Are you finished being a smart-ass?" Do not say, "no, actually I have about another 5 minutes in the routine, have a seat, popcorn?"
"If you fall and break your leg don't come running to me." Do not say, "I promise ... I will only crawl back here ok?"
"Nice girls don't sit like that." NEVER say ... "I know," and smile and continue to sit like that. What they really mean is much more complicated. They mean, "I don't want you to sit like that. I want to pretend you are going to grow up and get married and bake cookies all day for your perfect children. I want to pretend that you will never have sex and the children you will have will be given to you by the angels and we will never ever have to have THAT discussion. See the doily is perfect, the pillows are perfect, the china swan is perfect ... please sit there, oh ornament of a daughter, and be perfect too ... just pretend .. until the company leaves."
Grown-ups are as confusing now as they were during my 3 week stay in the closet.
SKIN: Glam Affair
DRESS: Sonatta Morales
SHOES: Ora Trei (not available)
EARRINGS: Dark Mouse
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
I watched the movie hoping that it would give me some cool tips. I like those shows that are meant to be social commentaries on things that rather than deterring anyone, give you some cool ideas you had never thought of before and more information about how to do it than you ever dreamed possible. I figured I would learn where they had all the beauty stock piled and maybe some tips on how to steal it ....
I sat in front of the tv in my cat burgler suit and was so disappointed. My life of crime was over before it even began. There was nothing in the movie about where beauty is stockpiled or how to steal it. Liar Liar pants on fire ....I was an accomplice once .. unknowingly .. but I was. I had a girlfriend who stole a whole bunch of things and when we got nabbed on the way out of the store I about died when they pulled all this stuff out of her bag. I was hysterical - I had done nothing. I was saying how my grandparents were going to take me out behind the barn and put me down like they did all the useless farm animals ...
Meanwhile my ex-girlfriend ( I decided to divorce her but had not sent out the formal announcement to her yet) was cool as can be and she actually asked if they could tell her how they caught her. WHAT??? Ya, she tells them WE were on a school assignment and getting research on shoplifting and she needed to know for her paper .. this was the only reason WE had shoplifted. WE were both banned from the store and told not to come there again, I am still afraid to go back to that store. They have my picture I am sure and hand it out to every employee and because I look exactly like I did when I was 15 .. I know they will be gunning for me. They shoot shoplifters you know. Even friends of shoplifters .. you shoplift .. they shoot and ask questions later.
In Australia you must agree to be searched when you leave the stores. They have huge signs up that say it nicely but basically ... "Shop here .. strip here .... bend over." So they go through all your bags and stuff when you leave. As a Canadian we sue people for doing that without a good reason. Doctors are not even allowed to look in our ears without proper introductions, dating us, taking us for dinner and sending a couple of hallmark cards. If someone ran naked through the streets in Canada we would all look away politely. We are Mr and Mrs Polite. We ask for permission to breathe ... hence all the dead Canadians on the side of the road who forgot to ask ....So to have someone say "show us your purse" and then look through it .. well .. I felt violated. Now I am used to it. I like to hide special surprises in my purse now for the nazi purse ladies...like raw liver, sex toys, dirty underwear, small rodents, etc .... Sometimes I like to try and sneak out of the store without them seeing me or make a run for it but who knew the elderly could run so damn fast??
I have no idea what this post is really about .. if you do .. please write to me and tell me .. I would really appreciate it ..
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
I had a pet leopard once ... well ok it was not actually a "leopard" ... it was normally kinda orangey and I painted on the spots. But I used to walk all over the place with the "leopard" on a lead, scaring people.
Like I would walk into a room and sit down and the "leopard" would just stand there ... all hungry like ... licking its lips and I would have to say ... "don't try to pet this thing .. .it is not just any "kitty" you know .. it is a "leopard" and it could kill you with one swipe." My "leopard" was a one girl kind of "kitty.' There was no way it was going to stand for anyone else trying to tell it to sit or petting it .
And then one day my grandmother had just had enough of living in fear and she stamped her foot and yelled at me .... "Blissy take that damn cow BACK to the barn NOW!"
POSES: Body Talking
Monday, October 11, 2010
I TP'd into Vita's Boudoir to pick up the free dress and took a moment just to survey the magic that she and her sister have created over the past year and just felt a tremendous sense of gratitude for both of them and their contributions. Wow, we are so very lucky to have them!! This post is just my little thankyou for their talent.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
I really embrace all this stuff about being free and living life to the fullest so when I read about we need to let our inner child be more free - I was in!! I started to wear my fairy wings, my tiara and my little short airy dress with bright pink tights ... everywhere .... I was Blissybell! And I insist, when in costume, that everyone refer to me as such ( it helps keep me authentic).
It is true what they say .. if you just let go ... you fall. But then you can take that as symbollic of the struggle of your life to hold on so tight and then when you let go .. yes you do hit the cement, if you are hanging on to the ledge of the bedroom window, and you do crack your head open and shatter your elbow when you land on it, and there is alot of blood and screaming ... but you live. You go to the hospital and you get some swell drugs, and a neat cast for people to write on and a lot of sympathy (well as long as you don't tell them HOW it happened)....
But the most magical thing that happens as you give in to the inner child and be the fairy you were always meant to be with your wings and tiara and tutu?
No-one in the whole family wants to go anywhere with you and you finally get some quality alone time ...
Be a fairy ... trust me ... it is soooo worth it....
(Disclaimer: probably best NOT to insist Policemen call you your special fairy name when they are writing you tickets for "illegal sprinkling of fairy dust," "illegal possesion of banned sprinkle fairy dust substances," or "driving while sprinkling," or "removing your tu-tu in order to commit illegal sprinkling" ... they don't seem to speak Fairy ...)