Friday, February 25, 2011

Housewife Uprising.


I have issues with the word "housewife … "


I did not marry a house .. In fact if houses were my lovers I would be a slut …. If I lived in the middle east someone would have stoned me by now .. I have had that many houses.

I am a serial houser, I sleep with all of them .. and on the first night .. no waiting … but I usually insist on being wined, dined, bathed, and teeth brushed prior to bedding down. I am not completely easy.

It would make more sense to be called by our hubby's first name-wives. She is a "Johnwife," she is a "Brucewife" get the idea .. Or even a "manwife" or "husbandwife." I guess I should be thankful I am not "vacuumwife" or "fridgewife" or "ironwife."

Although is men were more like houses you could repaint them, move to a new one, auction it off, clean it, have them gutted, redecorate, demolish, upgrade, leave a deposit, take out a loan against them, leave them to the children ... oh wait .. in those respects men are EXACTLY like houses.

It just proves that no-one cares to know our real names. I mean I was Aria my whole life and everyone seemed to work with that. The teacher would call out our names and we would hold up our hands … evenutally by year 11 we could do that without hints and someone tapping our arms. We knew our names … and then they try to blend us all in again. I think that is just cruel after getting us all hyped up that we had our own name and could use it when referring to ourselves. Now I am a housewife - not even housewife #832,567,345,988,123,122,443 .. just "housewife."

Well if you can't beat them ... beat them with it I always say ...


I told my hubby that the "house and I" needed time alone, we had been married for years now and never had any time alone … then I shoved him and the kids out onto the lawn and locked the doors. I told him this was a belated honeymoon and we would need at least a month…. the house and I .... In the meantime he could be a "tenthusband" or a "tentdad" or "homeless" .. I would leave that up to him.

SKIN: eStyle
LASHES: Wasabi
SHOES: Vanity (xstreet only)
DRESS: AgySecret
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