Sunday, February 27, 2011
The Skin Fair Ruined My Life.
I locked myself in the office, clicking my mouse endlessly, whimpering with the pain, wrapping my repetitively strained and injured wrist with my old house coat and a pair of old pantyhose and telling myself to buck up and work through the pain, this was the SKIN FREAKING FAIR for crying out loud. Winners are Grinners. Losers .. not sure .. but they don't smile much …
There I was for days clicking, praying, burning incense, offering my children up as sacrifice to the Skin Fair Gods and the LL teleport system and the Sim Capacity bosses and finally I got in!!!
I did the victory dance screaming and shouting until my neighbours threatened if I did not shut up they would call the police and I realized it was 3AM. You lose all track of time when someone dangles skins in your face …. look at Hugh Hefner … he never has time to get out of his pajamas.
So I wanted my avi to dance but quickly realized there were other priorities, get naked, get bald, move like a stilted robot, and hold the arrow key down forever praying to the rez gods that you might see some other colour but grey ..... I looked at the frozen naked avis off in the distance obviously those that did not make it out alive from last years fair. Other avis were massaging their naked bodies all over mine as they landed and attempted to move .. And it was then that my mother in law walked in the door.
She screamed, I screamed, and she stood there her one hand over her eyes, her other pointing at the screen ….
"OMG you ARE a pervert. It's SL isn't it? I knew it. I knew it. A Current Affair is NEVER wrong. "
"Don't be ridiculous, go back to bed, nothing to see here."
"Are you kidding me, ALL of you are naked, I was not born yesterday, I KNOW debauchery when I see it."
"Don't get your panties in a knot . .. this is not what it seems."
"Well what is it then?"
"It's a fair."
"I don't see any clowns .. not that anyone could tell, if everyone is naked then who knows what anyone is .. there is a reason we wear clothes you know."
"So that we can easily identify the clowns?" I sighed. "No ... look this is a special fair." ummmm you know know when you say something and as soon as you do you know that it did not help your cause in anyway?? "It's a skin fair .. like .. you know we buy these .. " I was trying to point at the displays of the various skins and makeups but the camera got caught with lag and there my screen froze on an image of several naked women with the sign "Buy all 3, special fair price" ... digging, digging, sound of shovel on hard rock ….
"OMG you are buying those naked women ... STOP I don't want to hear anymore ... I am telling our minister what kind of sick woman you are."
"Believe me he knows …see this woman right here? That is him, "Sparkle BigBoobs… want me to say "hey" to him for you?
So here's the thing, my mother in law hates me even more, she has become an avowed atheist, the neighbours think I killed someone with all the screaming going on, I didn't get to shop on account of we had to take my mother in law to the hospital to settle the heart palpitations … and all because of the Skin Fair.
Next time, I think I will just give the minister my shopping list and let him score skins for me .. It is far to dangerous for me to go on these missions by myself.
Adam n Eve.