Friday, March 4, 2011
Late Breaking News ... SL Fashion Feed Turf War Erupts in Violence
Wait wait late breaking news … the standoff at the OK Fashion FEED corral is into its 11th hour.
Police sources say a Fashion Goddess and her gang of marauding hyenas are on the roof of one of the buildings at a downtown SL Fashion Feed and are firing random shots into the crowds below. This situation started this morning during peek hour blogging when the streets were full of little bloggers and fashionistas shopping, posing and posting. There was no warning, no chance for anyone as the gang opened fire ….
It is a free for all down here .. … people screaming, everyone ducking responsibility ….
Earlier today the woman, who cannot be identified … because … no-one can identify her … as she may be wearing a disguise, wearing the skin and shape of a beautiful, rather largely endowed younger woman – took to the roof top of the Fashion Feed Building and started screaming at everyone that they were, “doing it all wrong.” She shot the first victim because her eyebrows did not match her hair and as she said, “I am tired of telling you people over and over again …. eyebrows MUST match your hair!” This prompted complete chaos and confusion amongst the gang itself and it is rumoured that one of their own was shot for having eyebrows just a slight shade darker than her hair. Police refuse to confirm or deny the report at the moment and caution there is every possibility the gang member may have been gunned down for using the wrong pose.
Police were called to the scene about an hour after the shooting began and immediately identified the pink sparkle colours of the FIGJAM gang. (F**k I Am Good, Just Ask Me). This turf war has been going on in the minds of the insanely insecure Fashionistas since SL began some 7 or 8 years ago. Despite numerous world summits and efforts to put an end to the dispute, the jealousy continues as women everywhere proudly watch the amazing display of all that is fine regarding being a woman. The little nobodies down on the floor of the Fashion Feed Building are all forced to wear a non sparkling puce colour, so that people are clear .. they do not belong. Up until 2008 these noobs were also forced to wear dunce hats and sturdy underwear and shoes. They were not allowed in to the fairs and balls until after the fashion elite were through and had purchased and blogged everything they wanted. There are some unsubstantiated rumours that these acts of discrimination are still going on even today, but we are unable to confirm or deny that rumour either, as the fashion elite are currently at the Skin Fair and no-one else can get in to ask them.
Just minutes ago, a blogging nobody by the name of Bliss Windlow bravely drew fire in an attempt to rescue some of the little nobodies trapped under a burning high horse, set on fire earlier in the day when the crowd knocked one of the gang off and her face light exploded, igniting the BS infused air. One of the roof top hyenas was infuriated with Ms Windlow as she shot at her, insisting that the AO she was wearing to dodge bullets was stilted and not at all fluid and clearly last years model. Another FIGJAM member was heard screaming, “Your skin tone with your shoes doesn’t even match!” while another taunted, “You use far too many “…..” when you write and your pictures suck.” Undaunted, Ms. Windlow showed them her ass and narrowly escaped being shot. Ironically the trick of removing one’s ass was a deeply guarded FIGJAM secret for years that the loser bloggers uncovered and have been using since. Rumours are THIS may be one of the reasons that sparked todays mayhem.
Police are telling us it will be a long night, the FIGJAM gang are determined that they will not surrender unless their demands are met. They want all people who are not them killed. They promise, this is not personal, and that if their demands are met, they will turn themselves in. This is for the greater cause of fashion and as all of them have a real life shift at Walmart tomorrow morning, they want the police to get a move on it….fashion waits for no-one.
Reprinted from Women Who Dance With Frogs - Bliss Windlow, Paisley Beebe Virtual and Real Life Colliding VIREAL!!! Uncut, uncensored .. check it out!!