Monday, June 27, 2011

I Housed the CIA.

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When I was first married we managed an apartment complex for awhile .. that was really swell and a great way to learn more about your fellow man than anyone really needs to know.

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In fairness it is probably where my creative skills kicked into overdrive .. 1001 ways to get the rent, or catch someone who does not want to be caught so you can ask them for the rent. I wanted to carry a gun but had to settle for a vacuum attachment. My hubby assured me it was the same thing but I was not sure I could suck long enough on my end to do any real damage if I was forced to use it. Like what was I supposed to do? "Stop right there or I will hoover you ... and then pull it out and run after them and suck at the same time????"

I was most impressed with people's ability to move out without detection, in the middle of the night, somehow managing to get all kinds of furniture off of 3rd and 4th floor balconies and into awaiting trucks when the apartment backed on to a forest. Suddenly babies and dogs that never shut up were silent. People who could not think about moving around without sounding like an army was marching through their unit - with musical instruments ... could tiptoe .. Seriously .. who knew the CIA had so many of it's operatives living in our apartment?

What was not fun was the amount of time and effort they put into leaving food and garbage and smearing unmentionables over walls, turning up the heat, turning off the fridge, leaving garbage and dirty diapers in piles .. chemical warfare at its best. And yes cockroaches can survive nuclear warfare.

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Then they would phone and demand to know where their mail was and if we were holding up there cheques on purpose or if we were the ones that gave them a bad reference for the new apartment ... then I knew for sure we were dealing with government operatives.

SKIN: Glam Affair
HAIR: Mikan
LASHES: Vita's Boudoir
EYES: Fashism
DRESS: Graffiti Wear
SHOES: Baby Monkey
POSES: BeBo
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