Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Saged Advice from A Beautiful Elderly Woman.


I was at a luncheon the other day when one of the participants started talking about how important she was and all she did. It's not like we hadn't all heard it before. She was always talking about herself. As she wandered from table to table during the event, the story morphed, depending on who she was talking to. She knew everything about everything and was tirelessly expressing how important she was, interjecting herself into every conversation. ( you should have one of your fellow employees just stand next to you and go "Blah blah blah, me me me, blah blah blah.." and if someone else could like scrape their nails up and down the chalkboard .. you will be right there with the rest of the ladies...)


Every luncheon she attends she is doing some new business and she is the tops, the best, whatever ....

I wanted to get her a cold compress for her head because I was sure she must be exhausted. I was grateful she did not stand up during my talk and start showing her home movies again .. the ones where you could see the back of someone's head at Disneyland who she insisted was President Obama and that he personally told her he is her biggest fan.


A group of the ladies came up to me afterwards to complain about her, amongst them a very pristine older lady with white hair, immaculate suit, elegant .... and she leaned over to the group and said, "When I was a little girl, my mother had a name for women like that...." we all smiled with that special smile saved just for the elderly that are so darn cute you want to hug them and take them home and prop them up in the living room, next to the special china and the family portraits done before all the kids got tattoos and piercings ..... and one lady said, "what name was that 'Mildred?'"


HAIR: Vanity
LASHES: Amacci
EYES: yukis Real Eyes
SHOES: Nardcotix
POSES: Del May

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