Tuesday, July 12, 2011
The Big Hole That Only Sparkles Can Fill.
Remember when you were a kid and you finally got THE Barbie so you could go and play with the rest of the girls who hung out at the one house on the street where the Barbie Gang hung out???
Remember those girsl? The ones who said you could not play cause your Barbie was the old Barbie and did not sparkle or have any cool attachments and basically .. you sucked??? Not cool Barbie = suckiness. Remember how it felt to finally get THAT Barbie and be able to go to the house and knock on the door and you could barely breathe waiting for them to open the door and to be able to tell them that you had your Barbie, and then they opened the door and you took her out and showed them she had barely been touched and she sparkled like crazy and then they all looked at you and closed the door on you anyway and you realized that it was not about the right Barbie at all but that did not stop you from spending the rest of your life buying Barbies without even realizing why or that you would never really be able to fill that empty hole inside of you or repair the trauma of it all because there was not enough sparkles in the whole world to fill that kind of damaged Barbie hole of rejection and you spent your life in misery and treatment which oddly happen in the same hour every week and finally you are just getting over it and decide to try to belong again and you look in on all the facebook cool kids and they are taking pics of their fancy dinners and you sooo wanna be a fancy dinner facebook in kid too so you hurry to make a fancy dinner and have the camera all ready and come out to take a candlelit pic on the glass table only to find the hubby and the kids have dished up already and have the food dribbling down their chins and obviously the moment is lost, the pic is ruined and you can't even take a pic and you can't post it and all of a sudden the doors to the "Barbie House" are closing on you all over again and a big realization stands up and smacks you up the side of the head ... in the end you are just a big fat loser and the insanity of emptiness is never ever going to end ......?