Sunday, July 31, 2011

Dolls I Have Known and Detested.


I had a doll for about 5 minutes growing up.


She was huge - almost as big as me. I think my grandparents were trying to buy me friends. Normally these were Walky Talky Dolls (ya some big Uni Grads came up with THAT name) but my grandparents, ever on the search for a bargain went with a Walky doll and skipped the Talky. Evidently you were supposed to hold her hand and she walked along with you ... ya right .. like you held her arm and kicked at her feet - they kinda moved and you could drag her along. I guess I should be grateful she didn't scream or make any sounds.

Like WTF - they got me a handicapped doll and told me to make it walk. How sick is that?

So then I thought, "to hell with this," and tried to pretend she was a baby doll which is what I wanted anyway, but the doll that walks with you was inflexible through the rest of her body and stuffing her into a baby carriage meant you either stuffed her in and had hands and legs sticking straight up like a dead cow or you had to lay her sideways across the top and then every time you went through the doors and stuff she got knocked off ... again thank heavens she did not scream or make sounds.

And the baby clothes only half fit on her so I had this sort of Baby Louey look going on and I know I saw some of the other girls baby dolls snickering at her. I had to tape her diapers on cause they didn't meet at the side and I shaved her hair off cause no-one's baby is born with long blonde curls. I am all about realism ... except when I cut her hair I accidentally cut a hole in her head ... thank heavens she couldn't scream or make any sounds.


In the end I was so disillusioned that I thought to hell with this I will just wait until I have my own kids to get a baby to play with (what??? That is why you have babies for .... right?)

And oh ya ... I eventually used the doll to whack my brother with after he stole my diary and showed it to my grandparents ... those legs came in handy as weapons of choice ...

.. now he DID scream and made lots of noise ....

SKIN: eStyle
EYES: Fashism
LASHES: Damned
OUTFIT: Eklektik Twist
BOOTS: Mentine
TATTOO: Soleil
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