Saturday, August 13, 2011
Aim For What You Hit.
I hated playing any games with my brother because he always rewrote the rules in his head as he went. Like if you had to throw something or shoot something and hit a target .. Suddenly whatever he hit WAS the target, was exactly what he as aiming for and was worth oodles more points … and yes he did tell me that earlier but I wasn't listening .. as usual.
I learned to never scream when he beat me up because the rules of grandparents state .. No matter what is going on ... you can ignore it ....unless someone is screaming. For grandparents, if someone is screaming you should proceed immediately to the situation, don't get caught up in the details of who is holding the gun, just punish the screamer. Then you can go back to gumming your biscuits in peace. Like my brother would be on top of me and his hands around my throat and I would be in trouble for making choking sounds.
I finally decided to stop trying to convince the inmates they were all insane and to play by their rules, so one morning, when Biff and I were playing with the bow and arrows, I turned my bow and shot my brother in the ass and then started jumping up and down screaming, "100 POINTS!! WOW I GOT IT!! I WIN!! 100 POINTS!! I" He was screaming … and crying .. and dancing … well kinda …
"And the grandparents came "running" and when they got there later that afternoon they screamed too. I learned that afternoon that the only rule that really mattered was boys were everything and girls .. not so much. They rushed Biff to the hospital where they performed an emergency arrowectomy. Then he had to have plastic surgery because evidently scarred asses keep many men from their chosen careers.
I was not afforded the win and while I was not screaming when the grandparents arrived I did scream later when the inmates where handed back their shoelaces and their belts and released back into the custody of the cows and chickens and prairie wheatlands.
Sometimes it is better to be misunderstood and minus the sore ass.
JEWELLERY: Donna Flora
DRESS: Donna Flora
SHOES: Donna Flora