Thursday, August 11, 2011

Conversation with My Kindergarten Teacher.

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I felt that the kindergarten teachers were much too vague in explaining themselves.

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I always had the distinct impression they attended some conference and spent hours coming up with cutesy, inexplicable names for things so they could keep the children confused and off guard .. kinda like herding sheep ...

And then they would bend over and raise their voices a couple of octaves and kind of clap out their sentences at us .. which I suppose was not too bad before they allowed men to be kindergarten teachers .. some of those men really should never clap and talk at the same time .. it is just wrong.

My teacher would bend over and squint her eyes trying to make them sparkle at us and clap out in her high pitched baby voice ....

"It's "Noddy NeverLand Time!" Which meant nap time. I argued I was not Noddy, and that "Neverland" was a thinly veiled invitation for children to engage in drugs. Peter Pan's problem with the pirates was nothing to the dangers that would await us as we got older and were confronted with peer pressure to "just try it." Did she want that on her conscience? The teacher would hand me my gateway to drugs blanket and sit on me while she sang the rest of the kids to sleep.

It was the same with "stations." We had all these "work stations" where we were supposed to paint, or cut and paste etc. I refused. I pointed out that at the bus and train station, the bus and train stopped .. so if it was a station, I had one of two roles to play - I either was waiting or stopping ....not cutting and pasting ... and certainly not engaging in "water play."

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I think I proved my point because she eventually got to using words and terms that were actually accurate and not at all confusing. Like when they said "that's it I am calling your parents...."

She did ...

And she didn't bend over, or use her baby voice, or clap ....


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