Monday, August 29, 2011

The Rules of Love #203 The Pencil Game.

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I remember learning making up dating rules when I was growing up. The Biffster (my brother) argued them with me .. But what did he know .. he was both a boy and a brother .. 2 strikes and you are out….



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I remember talking to him one day about it and I told him that I knew that Gary Pinuckle liked me. I mean every girl WANTED Gary Pinuckle to like them…. but I knew. I knew because I asked to borrow his pencil and he said "no." It wasn't so much the words he used as it was the way he said them. "No." He was obviously communicating to me that he wanted me to chase him. It was a psychological trick to make me like him more, which was really funny on account of I don't think that was possible (to like him more) and so I punched him the arm and laughed out loud … even when he was walking away I was still laughing .. that's how funny it was. And I did chase him .. all during recess and then later I chased him to the bus… damn he was fast .. But that is how I liked my men in Grade 5 … fast.

My brother rolled his eyes and asked me if I had considered, for just one moment, that perhaps Gary Pinuckle said "no" because he couldn't stand me and didn't want to get my "cooties" on his pencil. I told him right there and then what I thought of that idea …

"NO WAY!!"

I tried to tell my brother that unless he learned about how men communicate with women and how we women interpret men's attempts to communicate with us .. he was destined to be an even bigger loser than he already was. He said, "But I don't wanna date Gary Pinuckle."

"That's not the point, if some girl asked if she could borrow your pencil you wouldn't even know what was going on would you? I bet YOU would think she wanted to borrow your pencil."

"Well yes, when those words are put together, 'May I borrow your pencil.' I tend to think .. Hmmm .. This person wants to borrow my pencil which is probably what Gary Pinuckle thought and then he thought about lending it to you and then he said, 'No.'"

"No way .. He knew what I was talking about and he knew the pencil was representative of the love that we were negotiating and he wanted to engage in the age old lovers game of pursuit and he knew that by saying "No" he wasn't saying "get lost" and he knew that I would know he knew what I knew when I asked him and so he was saying "I really like you and I like you so much I am going to play hard to get and you can chase me." I had to sit down .. I was out of breath.

"OMG you are insane … can't you just use one of your own pencils and leave Gary Pinuckle alone?"

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

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"There are rules in the pencil love game … and I have to follow them…."


SKIN: The Obscene
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