Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Cleopatra, Leeches and Heaven.

Filthy Paola

I had a vision at the hair dressers the other day, I looked around at all these women with dyes on their heads, their feet in wax, finger nails being gilded, extension being woven, make-up applied .... and I suddenly saw the history channel 3011 talking about the ancient rituals women pursued in the name of beauty .... circa Cleopatra...

I bet Cleopatra thought she looked swell as she washed off all that mud in her milk bath and had no idea how wonky she looked in hieroglyphic type pics .. kinda like we will look back at the fashion mags and pics of us .. we will be dead and in heaven and probably weeping while Cleo comforts us. I am pretty sure the people in hell will be laughing though.

I mean they say everything comes around again, even the gross stuff and if we just wait long enough we will be back in vogue but when I think of heaven I don't exactly envision waiting around for stuff you know? But it is true .. even yucky stuff comes back except they always make it look better than the original so that people are confused. Personally I don't think there should be any confusion or waiting in heaven but ya ... no-one has really asked me.

Look at leeches ... they used them long ago for medicine and we all went ewwwww and said "no no no," but now they are using them again especially for plastic surgery. Except that where they once used to show up in an old pickle jar with swamp water and mud, they now are in a stainless steel dish, tastefully draped with a warmed, soaked in lavender spa towel and we don't see them on account of the organic cucumber slices on our eyes ....

And we don't focus on leeches .. we focus on "look at my lovely new boobs" or "my lovely smooth skin." It is like a magician .. slight of hand .. illusion. We don't go "look at my blood sucked face this is where the leech slimed all over me... see the slime marks?" AND ONLY the very rich can afford this on account of not just anyone should be allowed to head down to the swamp and put leeches on your face ...

Although, I know people who have had leeches on their face. I guess, when you are not under the care of a doctor, it is a whole other experience, which may explain the screaming that goes on ....

So ya .. I had this vision of the future and it was not good and I saw people laughing. It really upset me.

I mean not enough to get up and leave or anything but long enough that it took two more glasses of wine and 3 more gossip magazines to move on in my head. I still think those other women there that day should wake up to how frivolous and ridiculous they look and they should all think about Cleopatra and leeches more often. It can change everything you ever thought you knew about heaven.

Filthy Skins
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