Tuesday, November 1, 2011

I Wanted to Do Ballet.

bpd1

I did. I really wanted to do ballet as a kid - but only because I didn't know about the not eating and constant vomiting requirements.

bpd2

I think I was kind of pulled towards anything that was not overalls and plaid ... anything fluffy and pretty that did not involve fur or mooing of any kind. The problem was it had no practical application so therefore on the prairie wastelands of the frozen northlands ... it was considered pond scum of an idea.

The fact my grandparents hated the idea meant I loved it all the more.

So I twirled in the fields, dodging gophers as I leapt, swatting grasshoppers the size of minature ponies and always remembering to point my gum booted toes. I rehearsed for hours all through the hot sticky days of summer. In winter it was harder in a snowsuit and 8 layers of clothes, with a toque, scarf, and mittens with hot potatoes in them ... but I did it anyway ... because I was a girl with a dream ... I had the soul of a dancer.

As the years passed the dream faded ... ever so slowly ... slipping from my hands ... as reality inched it's way into my understanding. (and I was given more chores to do ...)

I finally had to accept it. ...

I ... was .... never ..... going ....to ....be ....a .....ballet .... dancer.....(you can take a moment and weep for me if you need ... just tell your co-workers that ask, that when someone's dream is crushed .. the whole world weeps ... they will understand...)

But does a dream ever really die once it is part of your soul?

I still dance, and sometimes on the toes ....

bpd3

...just not my toes ....

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