Sunday, November 6, 2011

Nothing Gets Between Me And My Kalnins.


My hubby does not get the importance of shoes. He and his mates can talk hours about mulching and getting a load of bedding straw or wood chips ... because everyone know THAT is riveting stuff and centrefold material for "Bro's with Hoes - The Gardeners Hand Book," but bring up shoes and his eyes glaze over. He says he did not sign on to be buying $300.00 pairs of shoes... like I signed on for $300.00 loads of wood chips. Besides, it is not my fault if he was not paying attention to the details when we were dating.

I asked him why it is ok and exciting to spend money on wood chips and not shoes?

"Well stuff for the yard is for the whole family, necessities, things that our home needs."

"Oh trust me my shoes are for the whole family, a necessity and something our home needs."

(you'll need to get one of your co-workers to do eye rolling and snorting and several leg shifts here ...)

"HOW do you figure THAT one?"

"It's simple, you all get to look at them and admire them, and in some cases touch them - this adds beauty and appreciation to the home. Look how nicely my shoes fill all these spaces in my closet and lead the eye right down the length of my side of the closet ... and yours ... You also get to ooh and ahh and with enough practice you might harmonize - free music lessons for everyone. There is also the point that it is a necessity you keep me happy and properly shoed so that everyone can live to see another day. Remember ... none of you like it when I am not happy. Besides ... no-one has a fetish over wood chips ... but shoes ... pure sex."

Ladies ... ALWAYS play the Sex Card!

Oh and Kalnins .... there are so many options and choices that you forget that can play for hours and hours and hours only then you have to go out and buy new outfits to go with all the new shoes you have ....

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