Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Where is Hallmark When You Really Need It?


Hubby came in from mowing the lawn yesterday ... he had a confession.


While mowing the lawn near to the boundary line between the perving "I hate you because you looked at me once and I could tell you were thinking bad thoughts" neighbour he ran over a huge cane toad, split it opened and the mower spewed all over the driveway of the neighbour.

Normally when these things happen (much more often than you might think) you would go and get the hose and clean off the neighbours driveway, however, when one's neighbour has spent the last 6 years trying out for the "neighbour from hell" international award ... one must pause before one attempts good will. Your very life might depend upon it. You see this neighbour has motion detectors and laser activated machine guns with our names on them. We already narrowly escaped death when we once called the spca to save their dog when they were out one day and the dog got its neck caught under the fence. Who knew that they wanted the dog to die ...

We hear them screaming at their grandkids NOT to EVER set foot on our property as we are evil. We have seen him push them out of the way when they block his view as he pervs on us through the trees. So you see ... we could not, under any circumstances, clean his driveway.

Instead we stood at the window, noses pressed, watching the sun bake the decimated toad onto his driveway.


For the love of God there has to be a card somewhere that adequately expresses the right sentiment in these situations. "With Sympathy .... The Toad now splayed all over your yard did not suffer. It was quick. Still, we know this is a difficult time..." or maybe "So Sorry, there just are no words at this time to tell you how very sorry we are for all the blood and guts we sprayed all over your driveway ...."

I would even settle for a gift certificate for the "Cane Toads are Us" store but I searched the internet and there just are NO cane toad gift baskets or anything ....

All we can do now is wait for the repercussions ... I am having nightmares ... flashbacks to the movie "Carrie" at the prom.

Pray for us.

SKIN: *JeSyLiLO*:::Kuwait National day:::*LightSkin*
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Clove Green Pale
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
JEWELLERY: $GaNKeD$ Falling Star Jewelry Set Peridot
DRESS: Paris Metro Couture: Moluin Rouge Cocktail Noir (B)
LEGGINGS: A&A Fashion Leggings
SHOES: Stiletto Moody Bare Anita
CHAISE LOUNGE AND POSES: [LA] Dressing Room Dormeuse / Blue

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Garmin Me Baby.


Men have to have all the latest and greatest tools. They need toys. They don't need them to play with - they need them to look at ... so they can touch them occasionally and point to them with their beer bottle when other men come to visit. "YUP ... biggest power saw in the whole damn city, I could cut down Redwoods with that baby."


That is one of the big differences between a man and a woman. When a woman says she needs a hair straightener, it is because she intends to use it ... probably every day and sometimes even twice a day. A man wants a power boat to park in the driveway so that all the other guys drive by and demand their own power boats. He probably will put in the water once and then swear that the fish touched it and it took him hours to get buff those marks out. AND may I point out the difference in pricing on girl tools and guy tools?

Men want electronic gadgets too. Again, not that they ever figure out how to use them, or will use them, but just so they can clear their throats and say they have the NEWER model of whatever. Proof is cell phones. How many men have great cell phones and still can't remember how to use it to call home?


I use tough love with my hubby. He can have his gadgets but then he has to use them. If he is at his wits end, completely lost, and no idea what he should do ... I tell him to use his freaking power tool and Garmin himself ...I am trying to straighten my hair.

SKIN: [Al Vulo! Skin] - [ Sakia ] - [ smoky bronze ]
HAIR: * RezIpsa Loc * ~ Eliza
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
DRESS: [Wishbox] Shady Grove (Berry Wine)

Monday, February 27, 2012

Is That Mesh?


This dress is evidence that some people still do not get mesh.


Someone asked me the other day if this dress was mesh. I think it is because when they visualize mesh they visualize something you can see through. No wonder so many men were all for mesh. So ya ... I think I am going to start wearing fly screen around and asking people how they like my new mesh dress.


I make a mean fly screen dress in real life is really flattering AND it keeps the flies away - fashion with function ... WHOOT!

SKIN: [Al Vulo! Skin] - [ Ninni ]
HAIR: Analog Dog .b - enchant - light blondes
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
OUTFIT: *LpD* - *Don't forget me* Dress Rose
SHOES: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Celebration (Soft Pink)

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Spilling the Beans.


Lots of people speculate where "spilling the beans" came from but it appears only I know the truth. That's it people ... for some reason the universe has adopted an "ask Blissy - she knows everything" attitude and who am I to argue with the universe? While kids in the playground thought they were casting dispersions (along with the stones and the rotten eggs they threw at me) ...calling me a "know-it-all" in the heavens the universal beings were nodding in approval and probably gave those kids extra points for intelligence that they didn't even deserve.


"Spilling the Beans" refers to my great great great grandfather "Cowboy Frank." Frank was a fierce man and once lived off of bark and snowballs in the mountains for almost a year. (they did not have warning signs back then about yellow snow). The story goes that he had a wandering eye and great great great grandmother Gerniehilda was not a happy little vegamite and she laid down the law ... "Ship up or die." Well "Cowboy Frank" could not help himself and he disappeared for two weeks. When he got home his wife demanded to know where he had "been" (pronounced "bee-in") and he "spilled" all the places he had "bee-in" insisting he had been shopping for a nice present for her for her birthday and had stopped at many churches to pray for help to find the right one. Like come-on ... no-one ever accused Great Grandpa Cowboy Frank of being smart.

Then Jerry Springer's Great great great great grandpa appeared and called for the Indian that Gerniehilda had hired to follow Frank. He stood up and "spilled" that Frank had not "bee-in" anywhere near a church but had been with other people's great great great grandma's in several different drinking establishments.

Grandma was a woman of her word. And so she killed Great Grandpa Cowboy Frank. And she cooked him up with some beans and they all had a barn dance. Some people were dancing so hard they also "spilled their beans."


Like many sayings there are meanings within meanings in this rich important verbiage that speaks to our heritage. This also proves that cannibals did exist on the prairies, that Jerry Springer is not an alien, and is the beginning of many important corner stones of our culture ... "spilling your "bee-ins" became "spilling the beans" - letting people know something that was supposed to be secret AND most importantly .. it was the beginning of the culinary love affair ... Frank and beans.


SKIN: ::Modish:: SinLess skin
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
EARRINGS: TICKY TACKY Black with Diamond Stirrups BIG
JACKET: sf design corset bustle coat - blue n silver
TIGHTS: [Sleeping Koala] - Bandage Leggings Purple
SHOES: BAX Ankle Boots Black Patent

Friday, February 24, 2012


Serena 1

Am I the only one who thinks Essences nailed it when they named this skin being offered at the Festival for Sin - Sabrina? Samantha would never have worked .. she was a goodie goodie ... but Sabrina ... she would be AT the Festival for Sin doing lots of naughty sinning.

Serena 2

Anyway this skin is at the Festival for Sin being held from Feb.18th - Mar. 3rd. Finally a Festival where you can go and be free and sin with the blessings of all the merchants who have created some fabulous wares to aid your efforts. EXCEPT ... this is all incredibly tasteful sinning. Not slumming sinning ... Tasteful and beautiful and lovely ....

Serena 3

I actually went out around the neighbourhood and asked people to donate support for me to go to a special needs summer festival. They were more than happy to do that ... anything to keep me off the streets for a few days I have lots of money to spend.

You can even go naked here and say it is because you care about ARC. People that attend the festival all know they have naughty bits and you will be safe. If you are really lucky you can pick up one of these lovely skins .. nice naughty bits too!!


Wednesday, February 22, 2012

When The Ladies From The Church Come To Call.


People support charities in various ways. Some people give money, some people give their time and talents and some people give things. I give fuel.


Those amazing women who spend hours knitting and sewing and preparing Christmas packages for people who need help have to spend hours together, drinking coffee or kool aid, in the damp basement of the church and well ... their fuel is the gossip they share. I provide gossip.

When they come to visit me I like to leave things around the house for them to find .. not obvious or anything ... but things like handcuffs stuffed behind the pillow of the couch ... crotchless panties hanging out of the laundry basket, Bambi does New York on the coffee table., a giant dildo next to the hand soap in the bathroom ....


It works for both of us. They don't stay long, it is a long time before they come back again, AND it warms my heart to think of them down there in the church basement talking about what they saw and what a pervert I am.

Next time you think you have nothing to give ... be creative ... there are many many ways to help out.

HAIR: !lamb. Teased Up
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
OUTFIT: DE Designs - Awaken
SHOES: PixelFashion :)(: Elika Booties Black V1.1

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Puddles of Bliss.


I need to complain. I am complaining partly because I can't help myself but also to meet the expectations that people have come to hold regarding me. It is hot.


When you roll out of bed wet from the extreme effort of trying to sleep all night ... you know it is not going to be a good day. When the birds don't sing ... instead they are lying around the pool gasping for air ... you know it is not good. When you see your neighbours all sitting in their air conditioned car watching their iphones ... you know it is not good.

I would do a rain dance but the idea of lifting my leg to clog is exhausting ... unfortunately if you are not moving your arms or legs when you clog the rain dance ... it is called "standing" and even if you are doing it with the intent of pleading for rain ... there is no such thing as a "rain stand."


I just wanna say ... if they come looking for me I will be the melted puddle in the middle of the road. I will try to dress so that I look good on those forensic type shows but I just wanna say ... if they clear the neighbour and my brother from having done the crime ... it was the heat ... and my poor little Canadian heart just could not handle it.

I have to go put my laptop in the freezer now ... it is melting.

SKIN: *Just Me* Skin Ashley SunKissed
HAIR: W&Y-Model-Hair-FREE-6
EYES: !IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
OUTFIT: SAS - Purr Mauve
SHOES: Maitreya

Monday, February 20, 2012

Weighing in on Fur.


Farmers don't wear a lot of fur. Farmers are like more flamboyant witches, they work with nature to try and control the world.


Farmers don't like to piss off the animals. You would never see the hired man with a cow skin purse trying to milk the cows because those cows can control their milk. Help them find their bliss and they are happy to provide. Wave their Aunt Bossy reduced to wallpapering a fashion accessory and they are not very happy ... no matter how stunning the gold hardware and the heavy link shoulder strap.

You try to stay out of the food chain too. So wearing a rabbit fur into the forest sort of makes you fair game for the wolf packs. They are especially motivated because you not only look like a rabbit .. you are one freaking BIG rabbit.


So that is where plaid came into fashion. Plaid and denim ... sturdy, non animalistic and safe. That pretty much sums up fashion on the prairies.

SKIN: *Just Me* Skin Ashley SunKissed
HAIR: Vitabella's Boudoir Sweet Iris hair
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
OUTFIT: Tres Beau "November" Sable,

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Pookie Sans the Swallows.


See the bunny? Down by my leg there? That is my brother's bunny. Pookie.


Every kid tends to have some kind of "special" something they need to hang on to. Some kids have a blankie ... some a toy brother had Pookie the bunny from Pookie and the Swallows. He cried every time I read him that story. At first I thought it was just because he could not read himself but then I realized he was actually a big weenie. Once you realize your brother is a weenie .. there is just no going back you know ....

He originally wanted a little swallow but they didn't like being cuddled and drooled on every night so he had to settle for a bunny instead.


I stole Pookie. I didn't want it for myself ... I just liked that he wanted it so much. The only thing I liked to hold onto in my childhood was my other hand. I never let me down ... not like Pookie did to my brother ... poor bugger ...

HAIR: ::::Fab-U-Lous:::Amber(Black )
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
JEWELLERY: Ear Candy ~ Beyond the Pale Set Silver in Blue and Olive
OUTFIT: -siss boom-byron dress-blue
SHOES: [V] Vignette Betty Dots black/white

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Big Night Out At The Fights.


Last night was epic.


We were about to get into a car and leave the mall parking lot when two mothers with teenage daughters in tow started yelling. Their first clue should have been that both their daughters looked first up at the heavens and then down at the ground as they tried to decide which awesome power might be most sensitive to their need to disappear. Ever resourceful, both girls started to dig at the pavement with their perfectly manicured, inappropriately high stiletto incapsulated, feet.

I love it when grownups fight over children. They never ever notice the pool of melted butter at their own child's feet and it just escalates with each parent telling the other parent what they know the child has been doing when the other parent had no idea. They both have dirt on everyone else's child. Their child has conveniently blamed their "friends" in the interest of maintaining time honoured illusions that they are just this side shy of being translated into sainthood. All parents well being depend on not shattering the illusion.

The air was thick with "ya well YOUR child ... " and "How dare you's" and "MY child would NEVER do anything like that."

THEN there was Silence. And the mothers began to dig their own perfectly manicured, slightly more appropriate stiletto incapsulated, feet into the pavement as they replayed the litany of accusations freshly levelled against their own daughters. I cannot be completely sure but I think I saw one mother actually glance down and SEE the pool of melted butter.

They both harrumphed appropriately ... more for the benefit of the crowd gathered, sharing popcorn .... and marched off to their cars. We watched them drive out of the parking lot ...


I am not the best at reading hand signals although I did recognize a few through the steamed foggy glass as the shiny SUV roared past me with one mother and daughter. I heard this wounded bull sound that emanated from the drivers side ....

I am envisioning a really interesting weekend for all of those ladies. It is kind of heartwarming to be part of a community.

SKIN: AKERUKA Lisa skin for Back To Black
HAIR: {fascino} Ayan Orchid
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
JEWELLERY: Purple Moon Bubbles
OUTFIT: [Amarelo Manga] - Set Cloer "MOD/ 001"
SHOES: Purple Moon

Friday, February 17, 2012

Toads That Mock.


I have not quite figured out whether the cane toads are sent here to mock us but I am pretty sure this theory is worthy of further examination.


The fact I am locked in a padded room while contemplating it should bear no relevance on the validity you place on my suppositioningisms.

I think we have become too wrapped up in our race for physical perfection. We want beauty and superficial evidence that our "chosen one" is perfect instead of worrying about deep down qualities that translate well to longevity and old age. Grandpas have to be kind. It is a rule. If not .. they are just dirty old men. So I think God got kind of fed up and said, "OK then for you." I think then he made the cane toads and said, "forget making it easy with nice cute little frogs ... you superficial women you ... if you want a real prince of a guy you have to kiss toads ... ugly poisonous toads that will not die and multiply like rabbits (except they are not cute or furry).

You see it's a test. Will we wake up to ourselves and realize that real princes can be found inside ugly toads? (Look at Prince Charles .. and if you have another plausible explanation for him ...then I would sure like to hear it) So ya ... that is it. Finding a prince is harder now thanks to all you beautiful people.


Oh and don't be coming into my yard and trying to kiss my cane toads. Find your own. The rule of cake applies to toads. If you have already licked a piece, it is yours. I have licked them all and will get down to the kissing when I get out of here ...

SKIN: **SHINE** Ivanna Erotique Tan
HAIR: Tameless Hair Yvonne
EYES: ! ICON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
JEWELLERY: Amerelo Manga [AM] - Set Luanda
DRESS: " MAAI FANTASY " - " Dita " dark version, black
POSES: Miyoko Magic

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

City and Country ... the Big Differences.


You may think that parents in the city have a whole lot more to worry about and hence the hidden teddy bear cams and the need to supervise your teens but that is just not so.


I know our high school was out in the middle of nowhere and we could not just leave the school and go hang at someone's house whose parents were at work and party all day .. mainly because none of us were long distance runners and all our parents worked on the farm ...but that did not deter us. Raging hormones are probably the biggest source of creativity known to man. We learned to make due with haystacks, a box in the ditch, and abandoned granaries.

Our parents didn't need teddy bear camera technology. They had cows. Cows are everywhere on the prairies.


Cows will sell you out in a heartbeat ...

SKIN: Akeruka Wicket skin
HAIR: Elikatira Rumor White
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
GOWN: My Precious [Agnes] Forever Yours
POSES: Fly Lily

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Text Etiquette.


I read somewhere that sending your partner a text in the morning was not just a way of saying good morning ... it was a way of telling the person that you love them. After my nose stopped burning from the coffee I snorted when I read this ... I had a wee rethink. I know I am in great need of social coaching so I thought well ... maybe there is something I am missing here ....

I am going to try this.


It was 3 days before my husband read the text message and he read it in the afternoon. I got a lecture about wasteful texting and how ridiculous it is that people in the same house would text each other instead of talking and that only losers would need to say I love you in a text message instead of taking their baby in their arms and kissing them and saying "good morning, I love you."


I am going to keep texting down to things like "Johnny put a bean up his nose again ... pick up some tweezers on the way home." It may not be as romantic but it works for me. I am also going to tell those loser people who seem to want us to replace every human contact with computerology that they are not the boss of me. Just because they want to jump off a cliff, I am not going to join them.

Hey, it worked in kindergarten plaid jumper is still intact!

HAIR: Purple Moon Dax
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
JEWELLERY: [AM] - Jewelry Durban
OUTFIT: Arisaris *Stars*Fashion* Lovingly Stars *
SHOES: *YS&YS* YourShoes Milano pumps

Monday, February 13, 2012

Confession of a Grade School Forger-er.


You know when they make the big valentine box at school and all the kids bring their valentines to put in the box?? And then, you all make little valentine baskets to take your valentines home??? Ya well that sucked.


It is kind of like giving people at the casino's here in Australia a bucket for all their winnings when they first sit down to play the Poker Machines. Let's face it ... not everyone is going to be a winner and having a bucket with 1 coin or no coins is really depressing ... especially when someone is dancing around with their full bucket and screaming "YAHOOOOOO look at me!!" I hate that. Winners should be quietly demure and not in everyone's face about it. Like the losers should be allowed to walk the runway and have songs sung about beauty and be given a bouquet at a beauty pageant ... not the freaking QUEEN. She already won the car, all the money and the year of everyone fawning over her ... she should just go home and get some sleep.

Valentines Day at school sucked. Some suck-up gets chosen to be the mail man and then they hand out all the valentines and you sit with your one valentine in your basket ... from your brother... because your grandparents made him and then some stupid girl names Corrine Jackson is saying things like "oh my gosh, I have sooooo many valentines, I need another baskets ... a heh heh heh heh heh...."

After two years of that ... I just made my own arrangements.

I bought the biggest pack of valentines I could find and signed all the kids in the class names to them.


I would have gotten away with it too except that there were only 31 kids in the class and I had 283 valentines and some of them were signed "love Queen Elizabeth" and "love you forever Davy Jones."

SKIN: Urban Girl - Emily Pack 02
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
HAIR: Pomme d' Amour /SWEETHEART hair/Intense Black
DRESS: SAS - Essence Black
POSES: Studio Sidhe

Saturday, February 11, 2012



I was a deprived child. Please re-read that. It says deprIved and not deprAved. Subtle difference and proof that little mistakes can put people in prison or give permission for other people to firehose them and up their meds.


We were not allowed balloons on the prairies to celebrate anything - not birthdays, not the gathering of the harvest or the celebration of the rites of spring where the goats head was sacrificed to the bull god. NO BALLOONS.

They said it was on account of it was a waste of money - "blow out your candles, open your present (underwear and socks - because everyone on the prairies is obsessed with the end of the world when neither of these commodities will be available) and eat your damn cake! We have to get back to summer fallowing!"


I think the balloons spooked the cows and spooked cows are not given to letting their milk down .... that and there just is not much you can do to decorate the prairies ...a balloon on the prairie is like a sequin in the desert.

Who cares??

SKIN: **SHINE** Ivanna skin pack/ Tan pink glitter
HAIR: ! W&Y HAIR New 167
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
OUTFIT: GCD - Twiglette Dress & Accessories
SHOES: PixelFashion :)(: Elika Booties Black V1.1

Friday, February 10, 2012

In The Neighbourhood.


There is an auction in the neighbourhood this weekend and I am insisting that we make a huge costume block party and make our potential new neighbours feel welcome.


I have been practicing my yodeling and my mental math. I have been watching the educational kids shows and honing my skills. I have also gone to the mall to practice my "single feature or clothing article identification" abilities. So now I can yodel numbers and say things like "the woman with the big zit in the middle of her forehead" or "the man with his pants up under his arm pits," all at the same time. I am hoping the realtor might want to get the neighbourhood involved and after the clown act, the man who can eat broken glass, and the tricks with the uncooperative cats we hate but are going to have them demo synchronized swimming anyway ... they might let me have a go at auctioning. I think I can get more money for them.


If no-one is buying houses though I have a table with some doilies, some old tea cups and 3 teenagers I can put out to auction. If no-one buys them I will just award then as door prizes .... so no matter what ... the day will be a success.

SKIN: Akeruka Lisa Tan
HAIR: **Hair Influence =Manual= bitter chocolate
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
OUTFIT: *VoguE* Qipao ~ Ruby
SHOES: [Amarelo Manga] - Shoes " Fashion" Platinum
POSES: Striking Poses

Thursday, February 9, 2012

School Uniforms.


When I got here to Australia I could not believe the school uniforms.


Let me just say if I had to go to school in Australia and wear some of those uniforms I would have hurt someone ... I am just not clear on whether it would have been my parents, the teachers or the Australian people as a whole. Think Anne of Green Gables except make the colours brown and orange and then add a really stupid hat and old lady shoes. I get the "lets have all kids equal and create unity" part but I don't get why the standard had to be the dweebiest dressed kid they could find. Oh I will give you some are not as bad as others but believe me ... they are all pretty bad.


I always wondered where the Hutterites and Mennonites in Canada got their clothes from ... clearly they are imported from Australia ....

Ya and I went to school half naked sometimes and often in jeans. I wore make-up and jewellery. Prairie Boys wore ball caps always on account of farm boys are born with ball caps on and it saves them having to wash their hair ... ever. I am just saying look how swell I turned out?

Just say no to school uniforms.

HAIR: >TRUTH< Kase - dark browns
EYES: ! FASHISM 'Sunrise' Eyes - Caribbean Blue (soon to be IKON)
LASHES: Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
EARRINGS: Ear Candy ~ Beyond the Pale Set Gold in Pinks and Black
OUTFIT: -siss boom-ahoy (Where Is The Concert?)
SHOES: *Kookie* Yuki Sock supreme heel- Ink Black
POSES: Striking Poses