I always wanted an elephant for a pet and could not understand why that never happened. My grandfather said something like "Shut-up about the elephants already would you? You are NOT getting an elephant. This is a farm. We have cows."
That was his answer for everything "we have cows."
My brother tried to make it up to me. He got one of the cows and he taped a vacuum cleaner hose to its nose with electrical tape. It was pretty sad looking. Especially because elephants are not black and white. My brother was standing there dressed up as a clown holding the rope to the cow and I kind of looked at him and then the cow-elephant and then at the heavens, and then at my brother, and then at the wheat and then at my brother, more at my brother, and then at the barn and the moment seemed to go on and on forever. There should have been sad music playing because I wept. It was like one perfect moment that spoke to the reality of life on the prairies in one word ... one perfect word ...."AREYOUFREAKINGKIDDINGME?"
I just turned and left the clown my brother standing there as I walked away telling him .... "just leave the cows alone Biff ...."
I will leave you alone now for a few moments out of respect for the pathos of all of this. You just take as much time as you need.