Friday, March 9, 2012

Ode to Mary.


I saw a report on TV the other night that most kids have no clue where their food comes from - other than a store. I think that is so sad. I mean the entire meaning of life is lost for these kids. Farming provides all of life's metaphors (according to my grandparents).


When it was time for the "sex talk" ... my grandfather put me in the passenger side of the pick-up truck and drove me to the field where they had just let the bull in with the cows. He handed me a sandwich and a thermos of kool-aid and drove away and left me there for the day. He didn't have to say a word. Sex-education ... done! Although I will admit it did leave me with this sense of deep disappointment the first time I saw a man naked.

But everything we do came from the farm. Living on a farm in the middle of the prairies is boring so you start to lose your mind and then you come up with all kinds of weird things. Like they started strip searching the sheep to make sure they were actual sheep and not wolves. The problem is, you can't tie a sheep's clothes back on them and buttons won't hold, so you are left with sheeps clothing. Unless you have a black market in with the wolves ... you have to come up with something to do with all those sheep clothes. The naked sheep were a constant reminder of your failure otherwise.

That is when the farming commission got together and decided that people are sheep anyway ... why not let them wear sheep's clothing? Not everyone got the point of that ... but those women that did ... began knitting and soon everyone had itchy moose-head cable sweaters and mittens. AND then .... those women that were now wearing sheeps clothing, stopped being sheep and started running with wolves and Oprah pronounced it "good" and a whole new series of talk shows started happening.


This amazing insight into how my mind works (or doesn't - depending on your view) was brought to you by the stories of Mary ... she had a lamb and she had a red riding hood and even though no-one ever told us what Little Red Riding Hood's name actually was ... it was indeed "Mary." She had the whole swaddled face thing going on in an effort to hide her celebrityhood long before Michael Jackson was around ... let me tell you. Mary inspired me to consider the wolf and then consider the sheep.

I also would like to acknowledge Gary Sharpman from Jr. High .... he encouraged me to drink.

SKIN: {.essences.} Serena
HAIR: *Action Womens Hair Jenny - Coal
EYES: ! IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Azure Light
LASHES: E'Dior Beauty- eyelash 06
OUTFIT: ...:::Beautiful Dirty Rich:::... Ultimatum (Red)
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