Monday, May 7, 2012

Fishing is a Sport I saw, I did, Mehhh ....


I liked fishing as a kid. I liked it because no-one ever wanted to take me. They said I talked too much AND I was a girl.


I knew if I complained long enough somebody Grandma, would insist they take me at least once, and even back then I knew that once I was in the boat ... it was no longer about just me ... I had to represent women everywhere.

I thrust my chest out (even when there was not much there to thrust) and pushed my brother out of the way as I reached for the worm can and got my own worm and put it on my own hook. Inside I was screaming "ewwwwww grosss" but outside I was all cool and calm because that is what we women do. Calm and cool in the face of great danger.  We can do all that manly man stuff if we want to ... we just usually choose not to ... because there are more important things to do (see shoe shopping).

And I would cast my line and I would (in my head) demand that the Goddess of the earth provide me with a fish bigger than anything my brother or my grandfather could catch, just so women everywhere would be able to lift their heads a little higher that night. I wanted to march off that boat and casually cast my ginourmous fish beside their modest efforts and shrug. I wanted, then next day, for them to beg me to go fishing with them, so I could say "nah ... wayyy to easy ... I want something that challenges me ... where is the nearest mall anyway?" 

And the Goddess always heard my demands. I always caught the biggest fish.

Now I know there is a God out there and I know my brother was desperate to catch a bigger fish and he never did. I know that my grandfather even had a tear in his eye once which I am sure was over the fact he had years of fishing under his belt and he sucked at it.  Here his granddaughter - the useless girl type of granddaughter - the annoying girly granddaughter was outfishing him.  OH they were both praying alright ... praying for BIG MEN LIKE fish. 

See what I am saying here??


I just have to say with SOOO much evidence ... overwhelming evidence ... that men clearly have a problem with effective communication ... I wonder why God has not allowed them to just draw pictures of what they are asking for?

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