Tuesday, July 17, 2012

It's The Costume That Counts.

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I first saw a butterfly catcher in Australia when we were having a very serious talk at a botanical garden and I noticed this very large guy with his safari hard hat, his netting, his fluoro vest, khaki shorts and work boots ... leaping through the forest with his large net ... trying to catch butterflies.

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I actually snorked in the middle of a conversation when I should have had sad eyes and been weaving my head in sympathy and holding someone's hand. Snorking and sympathy are not compatible despite the face they start with the same letter and sometimes a case can be made for "they should be."

But I understand the need for safety with butterfly hunting. A crash helmet is so important to avoid concussing oneself when one leaps and upon landing the landing gear gives out. A fluoro vest ... well come on ... do you have any idea how many butterfly hunters are accidentally shot in their backyards and botanical gardens each year?   Neither do I but I bet there are lots.  It is an unspoken crime, a hidden shame, probably done by bullies.  Kids with brand new BB guns have to practice somewhere and without a fluoro vest it is so easy for people to blend in with the wattle ....

I improvise. I have a bucket for my head - real durable plastic and I like to go naked and use fluoro marking pens to make sure my whole body can be seen. I also like to crank up the classical music and practice ballet leaps at the same time.

I have a broom handle with a colander duct taped on the end.

I like to go out early in the morning when the butterflies are still unable to fly because they are too wet and they are easier to catch when they are on the ground. You don't have to leap so high. You do have to make sure they are really dead before you glue gun them to your eyes for fashion because once I didn't and the butterfly kept wiggling and it really was irritating all night ... he kept sticking his feet in my eye.

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You can't just fork a butterfly in front of everyone ... especially when it is on your eye, you don't have your crash helmet on, you do not have license to operate a fork, the fork is not registered as a lethal weapon, AND you are not even wearing fluoro underwear.

It is the price of being a professional butterfly catcher...


SKIN:  [ Al Vulo! ] - [ Julia ] - [ - dating on the dark  ] group gift
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