Friday, July 13, 2012

Realists are Just Not Fake Enough.

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My hubby is a realist. He likes things in neat little logical rows of obedience ... and I have to keep explaining to him that neither his mother, or his children are ever going to march behind him as he claps out "left, right, left, right ..." He doesn't get television. My one daughter likes Pretty Little Liars and Secret Circle. He refers to them both as " Dirty Little Secret Lying Circle" and thinks they are the same show.  He says the girls all look exactly the same and the story line is identical.  I had to point out the clear differences. 

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Secret Circle is about witches.  Pretty Little Liars is about bitches. One show is about keeping a secret and the other is about trying to find out the secret.  Yes, in both shows someone was killed and yes in both shows parents clearly are never home, or in the house and have no idea what their kids are doing.  Yes, all the kids have unlimited money, time, and they run the town they live in, and yes, they all look like a million bucks at all times, drive hot cars, and never seem to have homework, or actually be in school attending class.

Hunny always ruins shows for us.  he points out that in real life, things are not done that way.  No police force that many amazing cases every day and that if some of the small towns had that many murders no-one would want to live there  ... either because of the reputation or because they would be dead themselves.

He hates reality shows though too because it is all "contrived" and especially any housewife, Jersey related anything.  He doesn't understand why all the women seem to scream when they talk.

That is why last night I packed a suitcase for him, handed it to him, lead him to the couch to sit down and turned on Grey's Anatomy.  I set the suitcase beside him and told him to close his eyes and imagine he was about to go on a holiday from "real life" and escape into sheer fantasy.  I wanted him to just allow the "train" to take him on the little holiday ... and enjoy it with me.

He shifted uncomfortably and kept looking at his hands and clearing his throat.  Finally I muted the show and asked him, "WHAT IS IT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD???"

"This just isn't working for me ...."

"You haven't even tried!"

"I have  ... but .... "

"But what???"


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".... the train would never let you keep your suitcase on the seat next to you ...."

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