Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Serengeti on the Prairies

BB 812a

My brother got a new paint set one year. He was quite the artist. Seriously. While I was drawing animals - that all basically looked the same - relying on my colouring and the fact I could print "cat" and "puppy" underneath them to direct people to understand my interpretations ... he was actually drawing realistic looking giraffes and moose.

BB 812b

We also got "Wild Kingdom" on our 2 television channels so we were living large. So my brother decided we should spice up the farm and add some wild animals that people would be willing to pay to see.

It was kind of like my idea to put water in the cream soda bottles and sell them to first time, slightly stupid, customers. We did manage to outrun most of them and keep our money but we eventually had to be taken into the witness protection programme. I just wish our parents might have been willing to come with us and not been so eager to hand us over. High fiving should never be done in the presence of a child being driven off in the back of a police car.

Anyway his idea was similar to mine except it involved large animals and paint and the greatest secrecy ... you know what ... it was nothing like the whole cream soda incident ... forget I said that.

We gathered up the cows (hey an artist works with the material he is given)and I held them while he painted one all black and then added stripes. Another he wrapped a fluffy rug around its neck and painted it brown. Another he tried to get to swim underneath the water in the watering trough but I think the udders are like a flotation device and it kept bobbing to the surface. We tried to get them to feel the parts they were assigned. Cow coaching is difficult - they like to improvise and do not follow instructions well.   I even hung signs on them "hippo," "lion," "zebra..." but when we tried to get the cars to stop and come on in we did not have much luck. The Hutterites were on their way to a sale at the Polka Dot/Plaid Sewing Emporium and the combine had an appointment with a field of wheat.

Then we went a week with no other traffic. So we had to give the cows back.

BB 812c

Even back then they were blaming television for giving us strange ideas. We needed to watch more wholesome shows like where the husband and wife slept in separate beds and the wife was always cheery and had supper on the table as she waited on her husband looking like a movie star.

And they wonder where the feminist movement came from and why our generation was so zoned out on drugs ....

Free your mind ... paint a cow.

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