Saturday, August 18, 2012

Water Cress, Lettuce and Cannibalism.

ATAO1

There was a substitute teacher who rode the bus with us kids sometimes, who ate water cress sandwiches. I seriously thought there was something wrong with her because why would anyone basically eat grass between bread and butter?

ATAO2



I felt the same about lettuce. Mainly because the grandparental units basically cut big wedges of it, stuck it in a bowl and we were supposed to eat it like that ... think watermelon wedges, but all rind.

I tried to argue that it was just wrong and could someone please pass the candy jar. Obviously I was very intuitive and although it would be years before we discovered that we share 1/3 of our human DNA with lettuce my gag reflex to eating the stuff was born out of my inate aversion to cannibalism.

You ask anyone who really knows me to describe me in two words and they would say "that Bliss is an inate avert."

  ATAO3

You have no idea the trauma I have gone through trying to deal with the fact my grandparents were cannibals that tried to force their ways on me ... an innocent child.

Of course once they invented salad dressing .... I was all over the salad bar and my sympathy for the lettuce sort of lost itself amongst the snow peas and the sprouts.

I have clearly been desensitized to the plight of the vegetable. I blame television, Kraft, Scientology, Jenny Craig, and my grandparents ....

It's my life ... I get to blame whoever I want ... as long as it is not me.
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