Tuesday, September 4, 2012

The Golf Mistress.

dm2ab

How do you compete with golf? I mean it is like a mistress from hell.

dm3ab

First there is the lovely little white ball with all those dimples in all the right places ... and my dimples are in all the wrong places now. I tried to get him to sit down with me and look at pictures of me as a toddler and a teenager and see the cute dimples but I could see his heart was still out in the car with the new ball he had just won that afternoon.

Golf clubs! Shiny steel, cool to the touch, shafts ... that feel right in his hands, and we can't stand to touch each other in bed because it is too hot and we get all sweaty ... consequently there is this big lump in the middle of the bed (no man's land as I like to call it) with razor wire and armed guards. And yet he fondles his golf clubs and gets that look in his eye ...

He can swing them ... I am not sure he can pick me up at all.

He says he likes the exercise and the quiet. What he means is he gets to go to a "me free" zone where men can point to the sign that says cell phones must be turned off which actually means no wives are allowed to interrupt the sanctity of the golf course and they can fart and burp and tell off coloured jokes and the golf "mistress" purrs and hangs on every "sound."

dm1ab

I am planning an intervention. It will involve a team going in with a golf cart and snatching him off the course and holding him until they can deprogramme him.

They make him watch figure skating until he breaks.

They either fix him or we are moving to the North Pole.

SKIN:  [[Mozz]] Ruby Skin - Caramel
HAIR:  TRUTH Lykie (Mesh) -  gingers
EYES:  Agnes_Beaute_Eyes_Dearest Mine
LASHES:  [the Obscene] Lashes
DRESS: ~Sassy!~ Wiggle dress - pink
PURSE:  Tee*fy Causal Tote bag vintage flower
HAIR FLOWER:  Atelier .+*AA*+. Chinise headpiece *pink
SHOES:  *[PP]- Vintage Roses Pumps*
LOCATION:  Rugs Boom Boom Blue,Svavarsson
 
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