Saturday, February 2, 2013

Compassion for Men Trying to Get Women.

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I think people need to warn men that they should learn from their mistakes. Men do lots of things - but everything they do is simply to try and get a woman. They pretend lots of things ... to try and get a woman.

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Years ago men started pretending to like babies and children - to try and get a woman. They started taking random kids to the park pretending to be their uncle or something - to try and get a woman. They even started going to lamaze classes and attending births - to try and get a woman. I know everyone thinks that those men were supposed to be there but there are a lot more random men showing up at lamaze classes and births than you would think. Women with hormones out of whack, and in severe pain and/or on heavy duty pain killers are not THAT observant. Men did that and now they are stuck with having to be teachers, and stay at home dads, and little league coaches. They never thought beyond "getting" the woman and had no clue where it would all lead and what kind of things would be expected of them.

Now lots of men are pretending to like cats - to try and get a woman. They are posting cute little pics of kitties on their facebook or browsing the kitten section of the pet store.  They write on the dating sites that they like chick flicks, long romantic walks on the beaches,  ... and cats. 

We all know that men hate cats and that they may smile and pet them when the woman is looking but that as soon as she turns her head they fling the cat across the room as far away from them as possible.

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Men need to learn from the whole babies and children debacle and realize that not only will the woman get more cats ...  THAT cat will live forever - 9 times.  A man might be able to fool a woman but you can never fool a cat.  Cats can read minds and they understand "irony" in ways you don't even want to know.
 
Cats will pee all over a man's dress shirt - even if it is on a hanger in the closet.  It will cough up its fur ball in their favourite running shoe.  Cats will sit on you for hours, especially when they know they are pissing you off. And they will purr and blink their eyes at you like you are awesome but what they really mean is that you are incredibly stupid and they can wait as long as it takes ....and when she turns her head for just a moment, cats can scare the hell out of you without even drawing blood.
 
Cats can see to it that there are never ever going to be any children ... because even if it is not bad enough to have them sleeping with you and your girlfriend/wife ... there is the whole confusion over what body bits constitute a toy ... or not ...
 
I just feel there is a lot of unexplored areas where men need our compassion, understanding and care ... A lot of men are forever "altered" from their encounters with cats.  It's one of those hidden things they don't like to talk about.
 
There just is no future for them with the whole cat scam.  The cat will always win ... and they take the women with them ...
 
That's when the whole "man's best friend" with the dogs came in.
 
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