Thursday, April 11, 2013

My Brother is Heartless.


My brother likes to spout off obtuse facts about anything, meant to impress us all into awedome. That is where you fall on your knees with your mouth open and just feel incredible that you are in the presence of sheer genius.


I can't believe I wrote that last sentence and did not burst out laughing. It is not often I use my brother and awesome in the same sentence, even when being sarcastic. It is out of respect for the word and the fact that I, a vessel of great awesomeness, take that responsibility seriously.

Some people wear medals ... I wear awesomeness.

Pinned to my left breast ...

over my heart ...

sometimes glue gunned ...

Anyway he informed us that some female moths do not have wings and they just crawl around.

 Doesn't that technically make them a caterpillar?

I am not saying he was wrong, it is just the image of someone picking up caterpillars and looking for evidence that they are not a caterpillar but a wingless moth makes me feel incredibly sad for some people. I am weeping now.

I am.

Don't mock me with your doubt.


I just did not care particularly at the time he shared it being as I had just discovered a caterpillar on my cauliflower on my plate and wingless female moth or caterpillar ... who gave a shit?? I was too busy standing on my chair, screaming and throwing my deformed moth across the room.  The least he could have done was scream with me.

There is an unwritten rule somewhere that when a brother is involved with a dispute between his sister and a wingless caterpillar ... he should always side with his sister.

My brother is an epic failure.  And now a moth is dead.

What kind of life was that for her???

This is a really sad sad story isn't it??

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