Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Screaming for Ice Cream.

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I was never one of those kids who threw tantrums and carried on like a pork chop. I mean don't get me wrong, I did give it a go. I screamed. I threw myself on the ground. I attracted a large crowd. I dialled 911 and reported my parents as being abusive and failing to supply me with life giving candy when I needed it most.

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I even watched my brother give it a go in case I had missed some of the finer points.

We both got spankings.

No-one told us about the part that happens AFTER the performance when the police hand over "custody" back to the parents and you have to go home with them alone.

We regrouped, brainstormed, and came up with more effective ways of meeting our needs. Being as we were both about 2 and 3, we had to use a little more non verbal communication than most committees might,  but we managed.

Peeing your pants works when you no longer want to stay somewhere. Sometimes you have to take it a step further than that but that would have to be a situation bad enough to consider gnawing off your own arm.

Psychological manipulation works best, both in the forming of the request and the response to the initial answer. Tag teaming is always preferable. I liked to talk a lot about the golden years when we would be looking after my grandparents in the nursing home and wonder about whether we would be over the fact we did not get to eat the ice cream we wanted by then or whether it would have festered over the years, and deepened into a kind of psychosis.

And then I asked them what Elder Abuse was really all about?

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My brother and I got a lot of ice cream.

 
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