Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Hood Ornaments of Life.


It takes a lot of work to be a hood ornament.


I know some people just think anything laying on or thrown across the hood of a car, is technically a "hood ornament," but those of us who are much more cultured know that there is a whole lot more to it than most people realize.

You have to know the tricks of the trade like putting vaseline on your teeth so you can smile and the bugs will slide right off your teeth.

You also need to know where to find gold pantyhose that can deflect small rocks, dead gophers, and bullets.

Then you have to get stiff and stick your "Mount" because in these gymnastics a "dismount" is like "dead" on account of if you come off a car speeding down the highway at 100 km hr no-one really can see if your toe was pointed or if you stuck the landing ... there is only one position and it is called "tomato shmoosh." The only problem is that regardless of whether you fully commit to your dismount or not, the results will be the same.


So kids at home, don't just try this because I am a pro and have had years of training. Models go to school for 2 years or until all their money runs out - whichever comes first. Hood ornaments have to do 4 years because of the science involved with the added magical skills. Models are never told that they will suck at being a model, well until the money runs out and you need to make sure they stop bothering you, then you tell them that and more. Hood ornaments are rejected all the time.

You can't just rock up to be a hood ornament. Like garden gnomes can't build on their gnome status and automatically become a hood ornament. It is a different skill set completely.

I am available to ornament a hood near you should you be classy enough to need a super hood ornament.

Call me.

I am expensive.

Worth it though ... promise ...

SKIN:  KAKO FOLIE'S [KF] skin Sansa lips natural
HAIR:  [LeLutka]-SCARLET hair
EYES:  IKON Sunrise Egyptian Blue
EARINGS:  FuLo - "Lacie" Earrings - Pink Tourmaline
DRESS:  Alanis Gardenia   White
SHOES:  Zanzibar Creations .: ZcZ :. Nephele Platform Stiletto - White
Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Intertwingled. Join us on Facebook where there is even more.
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