Tuesday, June 18, 2013

SL Relationship Interviews - No. 3 Shaye Windlow.

Romance Interviews
 
In your relationship (s) who has usually been the instigator? If it was not you, were you even thinking of finding a relationship or were you "persuaded" into one?

When I first came to SL my first relationship well I went out looking for someone. I found someone an we hit it off. Even though I was looking he pursued me and I loved it. From that point on I think I was the Instigator, even though at times I was hit on by men an women I think I am the Instigator when it comes to any relationship that becomes serious cause if I don’t click with you in any way shape or form they can keep on walking.

I had one person try to persuade me into a relationship but if I don’t feel a click with a person or have anything in common I just don’t waste my time or energy.


Is there a typical first date? What is it like? Do you actually do things in SL or is it just about the relationship on the internet and you happened to meet in SL?

No matter what sim or setting it seems to be music an dancing.   Depending on the person I have to say I have been fortunate with a few good guys in SL when it comes to love an generosity.. I have had 3 men that I loved an still do to this day.  I do things in SL I build some for the fun, I use to teraform and loved doing it. I love to sim hop still to this day to explore an find new things. I used to love shop could never have enough of whatever it was I have spent way to much money in game


After the first date, what do you typically do together?

I love to talk if it is going to work I find that there is never a moment where there is a loss for words.

 
How quickly did you know it was love? 

With each partner has been different when the moment hit me that I knew I had fallen in love.

 
How big a role did sex play in this? Was it confined to SL or did it spill outside of it?

Sex wasn’t the big thing for me in Second Life! Although I played along with the sex, I never really enjoyed it.  When it came to men it stayed strictly in Second Life I didn’t cross that line sexually, two of my partners an I talk in real life via face book but it is all clean no sex talk out side of second life.


How does SL enhance or detract from the sexual aspects of a relationship, if it was part of yours.

Sex really never mattered to me.


What was your real life situation and were you honest about it to your partner(s) ?

I’m single in real.


What was your partner(s) real life situation and were they honest?

I think most of mine was honest when it come to there marital situations. I preferred not to be involved with a married man in second life if there married in real life seems to me its Betrayal to there wife if they are unaware. Some knew an played second life an were married in second life an told me it was used in order to help them relax sexually in second life. When it came uncomfortable for me I would usually talk an say my goodbyes. I did relax an not feel like I might be causing harm there real life relationship at some point in the game.


Do you think it is possible for two people to have a relationship in second life on one level and another relationship in real life? Why and how could that work or not work?

The few married couples I have known in game some have strengthen them an some have caused divorces.


Did you meet in real life? How did that go? Was it as satisfying as your SL experience? (if no skip next two questions) 

I haven’t met anyone from second life in real life. People lie to much to be trusted about who they really are in real life. I have done that before from dating services an they were nothing like they said in there Profiles.


What, if anything, were you most disappointed about?

How easy it seems for people to forget there real life morals an that real life people are behind each avatar. Not caring how they hurt people n how easy it is for people to use people


What, if anything, was the most pleasant surprise?

Living an being able to meet so many people from all over the world. I have made some good friends that has carried over into real life too.


Did you marry in SL? If so, what kind of a wedding and what was the expense involved?

 I have been married in SL 2x I guess I spent 10k on both give or take a few Lindens.


Did you have children? How was that?

I had one prim baby it was nice pretending to be pregnant. Then I was given another Prim baby. But my kid avatars are the best I adopted several but 3 have been with me through it all. I talk to two of them in real life too. I love them an they me just like we family in real life.


How long did the whole relationship last? How long after the marriage did it last? Is it still ongoing? 

How long did the whole relationship last? How long after the marriage did it last? Is it still ongoing? I had one other relationship before my first marriage he left coz I got pregnant an people told him I was cheating. I still had the baby I went the full 9 months an yes my husband that I married his name was on birth certificate.

My first marriage was about 4 months before marriage maybe longer then we were married for 6 months before he cheated with what he thought was a woman lol. The she/he IM me an ask me if I had an open marriage I said no so she/he tp me in on them having sex. My husband tp right out naked as a jay bird lol. I divorced him same day. I don’t take cheating in real life an im sure not in a game either. We made up later an was going to get back together about a yr later but he got caught by accident fucking another woman well she/he. We have stayed friends in real life an I am good friends with his real life mom.

I was single for some time just dating here an there met another through a girl friend in game it was her real life hubby. He came to game to be my man coz we had talked via mic when she was online. We dated for about 3 months got married an w were together for about a yr he got shot in real life. Were friends in real life too he just never came back to game after getting shot. His wife was giving him grief about his feelings toward me an he was spending money on me an before he came to game she was limited on what she could spend but he was spoiling me an she got jealous.

After that marriage broke up I have just dated had one serious relationship that lasted a 1 ½ yrs but he got where he was not coming on for months at a time so I broke up. Were still friends in game an real life too.


If applicable, how did you ultimately break up? Did either of you cheat on the other?

Answer is above in those answers .


Ever been caught by a third party that also claimed a relationship with your partner? Were you blamed for the situation?

I never cheated just my first husband that I told you about how he cheated an I was tp in on.


Are you still friends?

Yes.


What, if anything, do you regret the most?

Trusting to easy I wear my heart on my sleeve.


What, if anything, did you gain?

10 good friends that has carried into real life.


How many relationships do you think you have had in SL?

Serious Relationships 4 not the type for just hook up relationships. Had a 2 that I dated just to have someone to do something with but didn’t fall in love with.


What is your opinion on relationships in SL and are they healthy for people to get involved in? What are the key points people should consider before getting involved?
 
I think some can be healthy specially for some due real life situations it gives them something they cant have in real life. Key points what they want out of the relationship some want that real life blending into SL which I think can be dangerous. But it is dangerous for married people in real life coming to game an playing separate saying it is going to help there real life marriage I have dated a couple of guys who are married in real an it has put a strain on them . I have been ask how I keep my real out, I just do I share some real when you with someone for a long time it happens, but I am not meeting no one in real from SL an I’m single. I like being single in real.


Final Comments?

I have left SL a few times due to boredom of the game. But come back just to talk to my good friends from real too an just to kick back I don’t stay on like I did when I first joined I would be on 24/7 now I am hit an miss thing is I can get on 1 day a week or if I do daily is for a hour or 2. I got to much going on in real that I need to do to sit on SL. I have chose real life over Second Life.


This is the second of the next series of interviews for Blissimo concerning SL. This series is all about relationships. You can read the first interview here:

Interview 1 - Anonymous Female
Interview 2 - Anonymous Female 2

This next series is probably a bit more revealing, and I anticipate that people will me more reluctant to share their actual names. I have no problem with that because the point of these interviews is to stimulate discussion, not to persecute or praise individuals. I appreciate the honesty the subjects have provided in sharing bits of themselves for that purpose. As with the first subject, I have asked for anyone interested to contact me and I will send them the questions. I can be reached in SL, here, or via email: blisswindlow@hotmail.com
 
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