Monday, July 22, 2013

The Trouble with JumpSuits.

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Yes,there are several problems with Jumpsuits. Let's discuss.

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First of all, they are not for jumping.

Well put it this way, they don't ENHANCE your ability to jump. I mean if you could jump prior to putting one on, you can probably jump with one on providing it is made of some kind of stretchy material and is not too tight and you are not wearing killer heels. But if you were, say an elephant - physically incapable of jumping as elephants are - you are still not going to be able to jump ... not even with peanuts to entice you. I will have to get back to you on the effectiveness of perhaps a taser ... I just have to find a willing elephant, an appropriate jumpsuit, and someone to lend me their taser.

But the other major problem is that you either have to diaper up, or be prepared to NOT have to use the bathroom when wearing a jumpsuit. Well technically you CAN but not with your usual casual ease.  You have to get completely undressed, which often means taking off your shoes, taking off the pantsuit and sitting butt naked in a public washroom and praying that the lock on the door actually holds when the rest of the people stampede for a cubicle because the band finally took a break.

While you are sitting there you also have to pray there is no fire or other emergency that will require you to have to flush and run. And we won't even get into zippers all the way down the back that you have to do up by yourself without hopping on one foot, banging into all the walls, and possibly even falling over into the toilet.

You can scream when you hit the water, but I promise you no-one is going to offer to help.

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And what if there is no bathroom anywhere and your date says, "look there is some tall grass, I will pull over and you can go there??"

And what if you drop something down the front of your jumpsuit or you are in the jungle and fall asleep and a snake has managed to head up your pant leg?

These are things I lie awake worrying about.

I mean when you are an innocent naive child and someone puts you in one of those with feet in them you can probably smile your way out of it ... who doesn't love a naked baby, even if they cannot jump ... but when you are middleaged and thrashing around in a public washroom unable to get it off in time and you have an accident, you tell me what good it is to tie your shirt around your waist when the shirt is attached to the pants and you are butt naked?

Again, I can't tell you how I know these things except to say I am gifted and forming public service warnings, not that any of this ever ever happened to me. I can't help it if facebook identified those pics as Bliss Windlow. Facebook has been hating on me ever since I had the nerve to try and add more than 3 friends without paying to promote my page.


SKIN:  7DS 7 Deadly s{K}ins - Anna
HAIR:  ISON - Leighton Hair Fair
EYES:  IKON  Horizon Eyes v2 - Black
LASHES:  Amacci ~ Prim Lashes "Allure"
OUTFIT:  Champagne! (C)BREEZY Azur
JEWELLERY:  Artistry by E Silvia
SHOES:  N-core  INFINITY XtremeHeel White

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Intertwingled. Join us on Facebook where there is even more.
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