Tuesday, October 1, 2013

I Get My Potty Mouth From My Neighbour.


The lady down the street from us has 5 boys all under the age of about 9.


She swears like a trucker.

All the time.

Even the fact they have 4 yappy little dogs does not drown out her swearing and cussing at her boys day and night. I have learned all kinds of new words. If anyone ever does a search on my computer to see what I have been searching they are going to think I have typing touretts or something.

The list is like:

lime coconut cake poisoning
crochet patterns for thongs and pasties
local clogging fair weather warnings for next door
F*;^%%%#& &%%#())@_
miley cyrus and where is her tongue now
What are the royal family doing THIS nanosecond

She asks a lot of really important questions like, "Do you want me to come in there and give you something to cry about?"

I wish just one kid would say "yes" some time because I am dying to know what "something" is. Can you claim you have lived a really full life if you never get to see what is in your parent's left hand behind their back?

She screams, "are you F*&;^ing kidding me?" a lot. Those kids, they must really be a hoot. They seem to always be kidding her like that.  Maybe they could be a little more clear on the whole comedy.  It must be hard to not know if something is funny or not.  I think she must really want to laugh deep down, but just doesn't know where or when to do it.

Hubby says things to our kids like, "we don't swear in this house." He is right. We don't. Who could get a swear word in edgewise with her peppering the air. The wind blows it right into our windows. And then we have all this "damn shit" everywhere.


No-one has reported her because she cleans up really well and wears a dress and goes to church. You are allowed to swear like that, at your kids, if Jesus tells you to.

SKIN:  Liliskins Phoebe Beautiful in Blue
HAIR:  (Chemistry) Hair - Vines
EYES:  IKON 'Sunrise' Eyes - Brown Dark
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