Thursday, May 8, 2014

Hi De Ho


My grandfather bought a bunch of old lawn ornaments once from an auction - ducks, gnomes, a frog and a squirrel.  There were 8 gnomes - the 7 dwarfs and a cousin I think.  The cousin held a sign that said "Hi De Ho" the warrior cry of all garden gnomes.


Then he bought some paint and told my brother and I we should paint them up and put them in the garden, they would look nice.

Then he left us unsupervised.

I think that was probably the first clue that maybe he should not be wandering the farm unattended.  My brother wrote swear words in the grass with orange paint.  I did not use the orange paint, he had it on his pants and his hands.  Then he tried to say I did it.  I don't think he should have been wandering around the farm unattended either.

We had never painted anything before.  Its not like there are any lines or anything to stay in and who knew paint ran like that and that colours put on wet run together?  Hence the gnomes looked like some kind of scary zombies and then because the paint didn't really dry ... and we had a bonfire that night (my brother is lucky he was not the human sacrifice de nuit) and that attracted lots of bugs and the bugs flew too close to the sticky pain and hence we had scary lawn ornament covered in bugs.

We last saw the ornaments heading out over the east pasture, moving slowly through the sky because it took awhile for all those bug to get their one free wing each - flapping in unison - sort of like a 3-legged race only with wings and about 10,000 instead of 3.


We told my grandfather that someone stole the lawn ornaments in the night - happens all the time we said.  Well I said it, my brother was still snuffling over the whooping he got for the swear words.

We just prayed that grandpa wouldn't notice that the 3 dead cows had paint between their eyes and the strange imprint of "Hi De Ho" on one of their noses.

SKIN:  :[ Al Vulo! ] - [ Celestial ] - [ Natural Milk TDRF]
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