Monday, June 30, 2014

Sherman, a Jar of Honey And a Bucket of Broken Dreams.

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We had this guy in our school named Sherman who was kind of heavier and very quiet.  Looking back I guess he was kind of a mama's boy.  I mean every boy is some mama's boy, aren't they?  We all really liked him, there was nothing to dislike.  He was just very gentle and nice. Like some people you just look at and want to pet them, like a big cuddly bear, which is probably why God made humans NOT fluffy so that people did not make that mistake.  Some lines between man and animals have to be maintained just so as not to confuse the children.

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One year we did a play about the ant and the grasshopper and lets face it, with an ant and a grasshopper being the lead roles, the supporting roles had no choice but to really suck.  Some of us were flowers, and some . . . other bugs.  Sherman was supposed to be a Bumble Bee.

He got to wear a big pillow stuffed black and yellow costume with these wire wings with nylons stretched over them.  He didn't have a lot of lines.  He was just supposed to Buzzz around the stage and flap his hands holding them tight to his body and up near his face.   His big line was to come out on the stage with a big jar of honey for the winter pantry and  ask the ant where he wanted him to put it.

It was not very believable.  We stretched the laws of realism to accommodate all the kids in our class and to have them in cute costumes.  You can't really sell house flies, which would have been a more realistic interpretation for the prairies and the ants and grasshoppers, but bees and butterflies ... well that can be cute, right?  Flies .. not so much.

Well Sherman the bumble bee snapped.  I guess we should be thankful it happened in dress rehearsal and that we were a few years away from video games and the high powered assault gun free for all. We were still trying to talk out our anger and people exercised personal control and responsibility.  Man we were backwards.  Postal workers were still going to work without bullet proof vests on.

Turned out Sherman got into the honey and he birthed hyperactivity right there on the spot, proving sugar could turn a  bored quiet child into a weapon of mass destruction.  He buzzed himself into insanity.  He came screaming onto the stage with one of the kid's crutches and was waving them around his head like horns.  He was like some kind of mad bee-bull bouncing off of the walls and the other little insects on the stage.  He started to charge everything that moved and he "stabbed" all the ants, the grasshoppers, a couple of butterflies and several flowers, while switching back and forth from making the tarzan yell, singing the theme song from Hercules and screaming that Jesus wanted him for a sunnnnbeaMMM!  Then he climbed up one of the curtains and said "death to all the giraffes" and jumped into the lost and found box with all the stinky smelly gym strip that people "lost" and refused to claim .. like 20 years of lost and found stinky smelly gym strip.  I think the school was trying to prove that composting could occur indoors using stinky smelly gym strip.  

Sherman almost died.  The people who fished him out almost died.  His wings were broken and  several people strongly advocated putting him down but I fought for him.  I was wearing green that day and feeling very peaceful and vegan like and wanted to save the earth, the animals, the bashed up bee . . . and my solo that I was supposed to sing in the second act.

It was a real buzz kill. The opening had to be delayed.  The bee had to be medicated, the ants needed therapy and the grasshopper had a broken arm.

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The show eventually went on, Sherman managed to be a bee, to be adorable, and to say his line with his fake jar of honey and his pillows, and his wings.  He got a standing ovation.   He got his picture in the local paper.

Time went on.  We did other plays.  Sherman went on to be a pig farmer.  He lost weight.  He eats honey again, in moderation ... and no-one has died.

Bees however are facing extinction.

I would like to make this story magical and have a purpose or some circle of deep meaning and connection but I can't.  It is just a stupid story that made no sense at the time and even less now and leaves me just wondering what the point was and if God knows that honey, in the wrong hands, can be a weapon or that sweaty stinky smelly gym strip, while smelling like rotton vegetables and other crap, does not compost in a box on the back of the stage.

And then my meds kick in and I usually go to sleep.


SKIN:  WoW Skins Rowena Tan
HAIR:   !lamb. In Heaven
EYES:  Ibanez  Ltd Edition Natural Eyes Grey
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
HAT:  Paris METRO Couture: Art in Hats Collection
JEWELLERY:  Bubblez  Bumble Spring Necklace
TOP:  The Secret Store - Sailor Blouse/Sleeveless
SHORTS:  The Secret Store - Sailor Hotpants
SHOES:  Ninety -9ty- Pack Black & White V1 Heels Mesh
  
Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Sunday, June 29, 2014

A Weekly Date.

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I never had a baby blankie or a bunny or a doll.  I think I missed out.  Like they said, "Oh hey, welcome, you have an older brother, that will have to do."

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Or maybe they thought they would just buy one comfort toy and we would share.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

More like we would get our gladiator gear on and fight to the death.

I am still here.  Just in case you are wondering who would win that one.

I think that is why I was never very caring or gentle with my stuffed toys.  I mostly used them as clubs .. against my brother.

Strangely enough, we did have boxing gloves.  Do you think they were grooming us?  Maybe I didn't have to be this way.  Maybe my brother and I could have been friends.  Maybe it really is all their fault.

Does this mean I get to go to therapy???  Finally????

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Shopping .. have to go shopping.  I need some heels to go with my bunny onesies.  Oh this is going to be such fun.  I hope the gift bags contain some free drugs.


SKIN:  Belleza- Suki Makeup 9 The Arcade
HAIR:  *Dura-Boys&Girls*47
EYES:  IKON  Destiny Eyes - Midnight
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
LIPSTICK AND TEETH:  Pink Fuel
HEAD GEAR AND BOXING GLOVE:  Evillast boxed Ugly Duck
EARRINGS:  Butterfly Charmer Aurora SILVER Eolande
COAT:  Sundaara Designs - Paula Coat Coral  for FFL
BOOTS:  BAX Prestige Boots White Leather
POSES:  Niqotine

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Butterflies are a Gateway.

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I used to believe that you could train butterflies.  Or at least I thought it should be a possibility.

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Like many of my childhood illusions, it was my brother who shattered that idea.  He liked to tap dance all over anything that allowed me to disappear into a fantasy world where people were kind to one another and unicorns frolicked all over the hills and lollipops rained from the heavens.

Yes, he was a colossal shit head.

I figured the butterflies could be broken in, just like a horse.  And then I figured you get like a herd of them and they would be able to fly you anywhere you wanted to go only it would be really gentle and the wind would softly blow in you hair and you would not get flies in your teeth because they would be afraid of the butterflies and would not dream of interfering with their cargo.  It was probably the only time in my life that I was willing to refer to myself as "cargo."

Finding "rope" small enough to slip over a butterfly's head and fit around their neck was not easy.   Tension was a difficult thing to master too.

Which is why I ended up with a bunch of headless butterflies in one pile and bunch of bodyless butterfly heads in another pile.

It was pretty traumatic.

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My brother took me to the local police station and told them he wanted to turn me in as I was clearly a psychopath in the making.  He said the butterflies were my gateway into harming puppies and then humans.

I skipped right over the puppies and went straight to humans.

Well, if you can apply the term "human" to my brother ....

SKIN:  7DS 7 Deadly s{K}ins - OMG Onyx V5
HANDS AND FEET:  SLink
HAIR:  TRUTH HAIR Dove
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
LIPSTICK:  Morphine  Bea Lip Colour Pink
EARRINGS:  Indyra Asri Earrings
BRACELET:  [W&andB] Ribbons and Pearls Bracelet
DRESS:  SAS - Paige Dress x 5 (with HUD) Mesh
PURSE:  {Indyra } Toni Straw Totes
SHOES:  -{ZOZ}- Tiffany Heels Sand (slinks High)
  
Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Free The Evening Gowns.

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I am thinking of starting a movement for nursing homes.

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I want to take in the most fabulous gowns ever ... Bridal gowns, evening gowns, strippers gowns, show girl gowns ... and encourage the women to wear them.  I don't care if they are in a wheel chair, using a walker or completely bed ridden.  I don't care if the tulle is scratchy and the sequins get stuck up their bums.  I don't care if things hang out.

I don't care because when we are young we are not allowed to wear the fabulous dresses because they are too old for us or they are not modest enough.  When we get out on our own in our wild and carefree days, we can't afford them.  Then we can't wear them because we are mother's and our husbands don't like us to be exposed or our children might be embarrassed.  Then when we are able to afford them, our children are grown and we don't care what people think, we realize we don't really have anywhere to wear them and we have become sensible about our money and can't justify spending that much money on a dress we will only wear once.  Then we are old and we shouldn't wear them because people don't want to see wrinkled, sagging, somewhat overweight women's bits.

So when the hell do we get to enjoy them?

We take the joy of life and we  "suppose to,"  "must do,"  "Should do," it right out of us, letting others define it until we are brainwashed enough to keep our own selves prisoners in a "socially acceptable" life.

I say to heck with all of it.  Put the gowns on the women in the nursing homes.  Have cocktail parties - even if it is only Kool-Aid in the champagne glasses.  Let them do each other's hair.  Get the bedazzler out.  Have mock weddings with everyone having a chance to be the bride ... one at a time or all at once.  Release the doves.  Eat lots of cake.   Tell them they look beautiful.

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It may not technically be evening except for these women who are facing the evening of their lives.  Free the evening gowns.  Lets make them every day, every way gowns. 


And let's dance.

(no flowers were injured in the making of this blogpost and the model was force fed)


SKIN:  -Glam Affair - Cassia skin - Jamaica
HANDS:  SLink
HAIR:
tram  D427 hair
EYES:  Ibanez  Ltd Edition Natural Eyes Grey
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
EYE ACCENT:  Mons Face Tattoo Heart
BLUSH:  essences
JEWELLERY:  Dark Mouse
RING:  FINESMITH  LOVE RING VALENTINE2013 HUNT
GOWN:  *VoguE* AnanyaMai Gown (Partial Mesh) ~ Wine

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Thursday, June 26, 2014

A New Charity in Town.

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I grew up on a farm, which pretty well meant the fashion was whatever plaid the hardware store got in for the season.    But I have always loved fashion.  I hung on every word that sounded fashionable and hence often confused food with clothes on account of everything in French sounds fashionable.
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I had aunts and older cousins and a Hutterite Colony down the road with girls who got to go to the city often.   When I first heard them talking about bell bottoms I ran right out and got the duct tape and slapped some of grandma's crystal bells onto my butt.  I had no idea how to sit but did it matter?  I was riding the edge of the fashion wave.

My grandparents also traveled a lot and we had the first colour TV.  I knew all the Brady Bunch Kids names before most kids packed away their hand puppets for television.   Hence I learned what bell bottoms actually were and immediately ripped open all my jeans and sewed in all the spare plaid I could find.   Ok I actually taped it in.  I sucked at sewing and I was not allowed near the needles after I lied and told my brother his brains were coming out of his ears and I needed to sew them shut.


I am sharing this because I think Vogue is working with Facebook and reading my thoughts.  They know what I like.  They are streamlining their ads just for me.  I know this because everything is about me.  

I walked into the store and there were the Dana pants ... like BAM!  The lace seemed to be following me with its eyelets everywhere I went.  They were pumping bellbottom drugs into the perfumed air and I was high and my whole mind was being controlled.  I swear I could hear this voice singing like a siren ... "Buy me ... Buy me ...."   if there had been rocks, I would have thrown myself on them right there and then.  I am just telling you all this to warn you that you need to tinfoil your head before you go into Vogue.  Otherwise you will be buying everything.
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That's my story and I am sticking to it.

Oh and don't let people bully you by saying you are a dumb ass for taping bells to your bottom.  Lots of people did that.  It was an honest mistake.  If that didn't happen to you, could you lie about it ... please.... it's called compassion...

Donations of money could be sent to help me get over it.  Just drop your Lindens off in an envelope marked Vogue Shopping Money for Bliss.  

Thanks.

SKIN:  DEETALEZ Jarla
HANDS:  SLink
HAIR:  TRUTH HAIR  Maisy
EYES:  Ibanez  Ltd Edition Natural Eyes Grey
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
JACKET:   *VoguE* Dana Jacket ~ Lime
PANTS:  *VoguE* Dana Pants ~ Lime
SHOES:  *COCO*_LaceEspadrille_Ivory
POSES:  EmmePose

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Happily Ever After.

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I think I would have liked to have been born in the days when women wore long dresses and had elaborate hair styles.

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I can't tell you the number of times I wander in the garden and catch my reflection in a pond and think I look like crap.  Ok sometimes I don't even need a pond and I think that.  And then I think, if I had been born back in the olden days I would be all dressed up in some incredible gown, cinched and wire framed into the lace and satin, with my hair all piled up and curled and ringletted and flowered and maybe some feathers with even a bird attached to the feathers ... all ready for my postcard picture to be taken.  Women back then were always ready for a postcard picture.

It could just happen.

Any day of the week.

Instead I am all liberated and no longer need to be cinched or wire framed.  Hence I am t-shirted and stretch panted.   My hair is whatever and I am lucky if there is some pocket lint caught in it.  You could put my picture on a postcard but I am terrified it would show up on some show about a Big Foot Sighting.

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I could be wrong but I have wondered if this being liberated has something to do with there not being any of those handsome rich princes and  happily ever after hanging around anymore.  Maybe handsome rich princes require embroidered tents on their women, with heaving bosoms tucked in amongst the lace.

I started embroidering my tent this afternoon.

I have a bird trap out too and I am trying to coax my bosoms into heaving themselves.

Glue gunning my hair into position tomorrow.


SKIN:  -Glam Affair - Summer skin - America - 04 Collabor88
HAIR:  booN  UAN168 hair
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
MAKE-UP:  Hush
FACE CHAIN:  *May's Soul* Immoe chain bronze
JEWELLERY:  Donna Flora ILDE set + HUD
GOWN:  [ZE] Vivienne {CHAMPAGENE} from FFL
NAILS:  AandA FAshion  Dangerous Nails2010/Brown
SHOES:  Essenz - Athens (Brown)
POSES:  Epiphany

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Don't Sweat The Small Stuff.

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I really resonate with this style of dress.  I think it shows a lot of love.

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Most of  my dresses that I wore as a child, and especially those I wore as a teenager, looked like this.  They were short in the front - their normal length - and then long in the back - from my grandmother trying to pull them down lower.

She invented stretchy fabric long before stretchy fabric was invented.  She had all those little cotton molecule holding on to each other with the skin not yet skin, under the skin that was under their fingernails, screaming for their mamas.  She tried to say that I should be thankful that someone cared about me enough to worry about my being naked in public.

I pointed out if she really knew me she would know I was fine being naked in public and that her worry was not over my feelings but more about her own that people might find out that I was her granddaughter.  She liked people to think of her in a non naked way which I completely understood and even supported.  I promised her I would go to the grave with the secret that she was my grandmother if she would promise to never tell anyone that I was her granddaughter.

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I think parents everywhere could save themselves a lot of heartache if they would just clarify that point right from the start.  Trust me, most of us never wanted anyone to know we were related to our parents, there was no need for all those nights of worry.  Teenagers are normally quite happy to pretend they appeared on earth by spontaneous combustion.

Parents aren't really needed until you have kids, in which case you need a babysitting grandparent, or you get arrested or start therapy and you need someone to blame.

No need to sweat the teenage years so hard, just sit down and relax.  You'll need your strength later.

SKIN:  * Morphine  : Nadine Peach Skintone
HAIR:  ! Sugarsmack !  : Sachi
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
MAKE-UP:  Leafy Gold
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
LIPSTICK AND TEETH: Pink Fuel Elly
JEWELLERY AND NAILS:  +:+WTG+:+ **Holy Gold** set
BRACELET:  [} Jasha {] Tahta Bracelet II - Gold
NYLONS:  Le Poppycock December Group Gift for VFFB
CLUTCH:  Magnifique Bro-Bri
DRESS:  Liv Glam  [LG] Boutique-[ SPRING14] So Fresh,So Clean Bagged 1 for Cosmo
SHOES:  MV Cleaver Heels Noir
POSES:  Epiphany

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Monday, June 23, 2014

A Little Off The Top.

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I wasn't allowed to do beef 4-H because I was a girl and my grandparents were all about "Here learn something useful for a girl like how to embroider things."  I would like to tell you that they were great parents and that they were right but although I have included my ability to embroider everything from sheep blankets to ladies hankies, to tractor tires ... it has never secured me a single job.

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I did take an active interest in my brother's 4-H activities though.  I lived my life vicariously through his ups and downs.  It was a win for the family if he won and I was still believed in fairy tales like Cinderella finding her prince and me being part of the family, and so I did the research for his steer each year and made the suggestions while he did the practical applications.

So much goes into that final judging and sale.  And grooming and presentation is part of that.

Which is why, the one year, I thought it important to explore that to the max in hopes of upping our chances of being big winners.  Left alone one afternoon with abandoned tools such as hedge clippers, sheep shearers, grandpa's barber kit AND my brother ... I got creative.

I covered my brothers eyes with duct tape and made him promise not to peek while I got to work.

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They say originality matters and they like to see unique approaches ... but they are lying.  There is just no room for a poodle steer with pink bows and his matching owner in the closed hearts of 4-H Canada.

Damn them all.

I thought it made my brother more believable as a human being, sort of lent him a persona of credibility that he had been lacking.  

I embroidered swear words all over their flag while they were having their big wrap up barbeque with poodle beef sandwiches.


SKIN:  * Morphine  : Nadine Peach Skintone
HAIR:  !lamb. Cry Baby
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
DRESS AND PURSE:  Paris METRO Couture: Pasiley Cocktail Sydney
JEWELLERY:  A&A Fashion Jewellery Set Eliza *Black
HAIBAND:  (OMFG) Lovely Petals
NAILS:  [Bamboo] Nails - Berry Blue
SHOES:  NX-Nardcotix Rebekah Pumps Liquorice

POSES:  Epiphany

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Monday, June 16, 2014

Games That Teach Important Life Skills.

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One of the really fun things I like to do is invent games to liven up what can be normally predictable days.

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Everyone loves walking along the beach, hunting for shells, hoping that they happen to be there at just the right time when the tide washes in a pristine hunormous shell or a perfect starfish.  I rate that story up there with the ones about the tooth fairy and Santa Claus only one that requires you ditch whatever brain cells survived your childhood or your thirties ... depending how long it took you to figure out the Easter Bunny couldn't possibly lay eggs.

I mean, in order to think you are going to find that one shell, you have to ignore the gazillion other people also walking along the beach hoping for the same thing ...and pretend that God loves you more than anyone else and is going to save that special experience just for you.

If he didn't help you with the baton twirling contest for the annual heifer sale jamboree and pie sale ... I don't think he is going to pull through for the shell.

So I like to wait for the Japanese tourist bus to pull into the parking lot and  I plant 1 pristine shell in their direct pathway and then I just like to sit back and see who survives.  It's like watching seagulls descend on a single french fry, except there is no danger of weight gain, tourists can't fly, and their screaming is more shrill.

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Sometimes when they are really into the game, people end up unconscious and then you can play another game where you bury the bodies and that way when the people come along with their little detectors to find jewellery or money that people have lost in the sand, they will have the most fun ever.  

Digging up a watch is one thing.  Digging up a watch attached to an angry body that was woken up when the shovel hit their eyeball is something else all together different.

Especially when they realize they don't have the shell either.

I think it just makes it more fun all the way around.  Those detector people should have to work a little harder for their treasure.  I think it better prepares them for life.


SKIN:  * Morphine : Nadine Native Skintone (Smoky)
HAIR:  TRUTH HAIR Thelma
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
JEWELLERY:  AsHmOoT_Acc Coll_Opals Set_Orange
SHOES:  ::CHoOoZ:: "Kismet": Blush.
PURSE:   AsHmOoT_Acc Coll_Beach Bags
NAILS:  Adoness - Princess Mia S:10 - Pink
OUTFIT:   Prism Leah by Journey in Daisy  for FFL

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Building Bridges Across the Vast Void of Depraved Minds.

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Cat Burglars ... I used to think they were called that because they stole cats but I tried leaving cats out at night for them to steal and they never once took the bait.  Either they don't steal cats or they are just dumb.

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I am leaning towards dumb.

The other day in the parking lot at the mall a plain new white van with two dudes with their fluoro vests on drove up behind us.

"Excuse me, this may seem like a strange question but ... are you looking for a home theatre?"

I was tempted to ask where they had lost it and if they had notified mall security so the mall could go on lock down and we could put a picture out of the said "home theatre" all over social media asking for anyone with information to come forward, and then round up all the home theatre molesters in the neighbourhood and shake them down and threaten to tell their probation officers but I had a gut feeling they were playing us. Their vests were brand new and they weren't even crying.

They wanted to know if we wanted to BUY a home theatre . . . which they just happened to have .. . in the back of  their van.  They were hanging out the window, desperately trying to insist they could give us a good deal.  They clearly needed to make a cash sale ... immediately.

I was envisioning the poor people back at the new house who were about to find out their home theatre had mysteriously gone missing and no-one knew what had happened.  I could see them swearing at the builder, the builder blaming the delivery guy, the delivery guy blaming the store and everyone suspecting the kids next door.

I kind of wished I had some counterfeit bills so I could buy it from them and then drive it to the police station with their license number on a little slip of paper.  I could have put on my leotards and cape and done a real TA-DA!!  as I handed them everything in the case they would need to make the arrest.  I would have probably even made the evening news ... Canadian woman, strikes down crime in Australia, one gang at a time.  Go Canuks!!

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Unfortunately I couldn't do that.  I didn't think to pack my leotards when I left home that morning.

I feel so bad for the family that is going to lose out.  I would have liked to visit them with a basket full of cats after I went to the police station.

I think we need to make bridges between criminals and the victims and nothing speaks forgiveness like spandex and kittens.

SKIN:  Glam Affair - Coral skin - Asia 04 for Collabor88
HAIR:  Vanity Hair: Keep It Quiet
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
MAKE-UP:  [KOOQLA] Z-eyeliners (Black)
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
JEWELLERY:  Chop Zuey   Black Storm
NAILS:  Candy Nail  #P000 Basic French Nails Black
GOWN:  GizzA Creations  - Lavinia Dress [Red]
SHOES:  {{BSD Design studio}}Meditrina
POSES:  Reasonable Poses

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Not For The Eyes of Children.

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My grandparents were always screaming at us kids to keep our feet off the couch.

vgap2

Which is kind of hard when you are a little kid, being as they are attached to your legs and when you sit on the couch your legs end halfway from the back of the couch to the edge of the couch.  Like hey  ... if I put my feet on the floor, I am standing.

Just thought I would point that out.  Not to be technical or anything ... but it must make you feel kind of like an idiot to have a two year old point out something so obvious?  But seriously, you keep on yelling all parent like.

My brother always thought he was the couch monitor or something - probably the most prestigious job he ever held .. well the one with the most responsibility.  He watched like a hawk and reported anyone whose foot was moving in the general direction of the couch.

I loved it when he reported Aunt Margaret ... I was hoping I would get to watch when she got taken to the back bedroom and the belt came off.  She frequently put her feet on the couch but no-one said it at our house.  She was lucky because one day at her house I was pretty sure Uncle Bill had caught her and was really fed up.

One minute they were out sitting on the couch, she had her feet on it and then they disappeared.  I found them in the bedroom.  The door was open slightly.  She was obviously about to get one heck of a spanking.  Uncle Bill took his belt off.  She lifted up her skirt ... and then he took off his pants ....


vgap3

 . . . and that was the last thing I remember before my grandmother screamed, hands were clamped over my eyes, a door was slammed and I was "tansported" outside in like a nanosecond of a nanosecond.

Evidently watching adults punish the adults is not something children should watch.

SKIN:  Essences - Siggy TDRF01 *light rose
HAIR:  (NO) Raver Buns
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LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
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Artistry by E Isabel NLA
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OUTFIT:  Liv Glam [LG] Boutique-[ SPRING14] Undecided  for Cosmo
POSES:  Reasonable Poses

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Warm and Fuzzy Bed Time Story.

ifyw1

You should be careful what wildlife you save.

ifyw2

I think Mother Nature has some rules about Natural Laws.  Like maybe those Saturday morning movies where one man saves someone and then that person hangs around them forever in the shadows because they say that they now are their token animal or something and have to be there forever to take care of them were really true.  Not to be confused with the romantic Saturday afternoon movies where a man and a woman meet and there is  rose petals and stardust and he promises to love her forever and take care of her and they live happily ever after ... those are complete bullshit.

But when Mother Nature does stuff and makes up rules it is for real.

So if you save a spider or an earth worm ... they go and tell everyone that you did that and then one night when you are least expecting it you wake up and there is a herd of earth worms or spiders all there worshiping you because you are like this giant benevolent human who did magic and saved them from sure death.

They dance naked in the moonlight.  

ifyw3a

I mean how else do you think that they fall in your mouth when you are sleeping?  That happens you know.  I read it on the internet - "50 Icky Things You Don't Want To Know."  The average human (not the ones with 3 hands or 2 noses) swallows 17 spiders and 23 earth worms in their sleep during their life time.

Ok maybe the earth worm one isn't completely accurate ... I think it is only 11 earth worms.  There would be more but the others that are standing on your face worshiping you while you sleep have a longer reach and can fish them fallen worm out of your mouth before you swallow.  The spiders are just genetically engineered to die in mouth caverns of their great and benevolent human king/queen . . . while they dance .. naked.

Virgins are not very sure footed.

Sleep well.

SKIN:  Glam Affair - Coral - Jamaica - Lotus
HAIR:  *Milk* Hair~ Royals
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
MAKE-UP:  Tuli Eyeliner 3
Elymode sumermix sea
NAILS:  **Feel** FlowerPink&GoldNail
CHAIR:  Senzafine
FROG:  Striking Poses
FOREST:  MC. Night Forrest Skybox
BODY SUIT:  Whippet &Buck - Elisa Day Bodysuit ROSY
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Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Monday, June 9, 2014

They Were My Two True Friends.

iwtm1

This kind of sums up my childhood friends.  

iwtm3

Except there could have been a cow in there too although cows can't be dressed up that easily and they don't bend well to fit into those little chairs you get to go with the table and chair sets.  For some reasons your own table and chair set seems to be a necessary thing in defining your gender.  All little girls get some, but not the boys.  I have to say if my hubby ever bought me a table and chairs as a Christmas gift, it would be his last Christmas on this earth. They have not figured that huge in my life.   Am I missing something?   I have never really understood that and felt perhaps I should have insisted that none of the men be allowed to sit at the table on a chair because they were not conditioned to fully understand the importance of these things.  I mean if only the girls needed to know this stuff ...

Well maybe they could sit, but the girls should have cattle prods so they can make sure the men are doing it right.

Anyway yes the chimp and the dressmakers mannequin ... my true friends, the only ones I have managed to keep my entire life.

I played with them a lot.  I stole the monkey from my brother.  I didn't want a monkey but he really did and it was a Christmas gift I peeked at ... came from a distant maiden aunt who was always confused so I switched the tags on her gifts.  Biff got a pretty tea set which he still uses I think.  He loved Snow White.  I got the monkey . . . and to see my brother cry which pretty much made THAT Christmas for me.

I found the monkey and the mannequin excellent company.  No arguments about what we were playing, what they had to wear, or the lines I needed them to say.  The cow was never that compliable.  I think they kind of ruined me for all the friends I would have later in life .. you know ... unreal expectations and all ...

iwtm3

Sometimes I still take them out for family dinners . . . so that I have someone to talk to.

And to see my brother cry.

That never gets old.


SKIN:  7DS 7 Deadly s{K}ins Elian
HAIR:  TRUTH  Lagertha -  light blondes
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
EARRINGS:  A&Ana F.J. I choose you Earrings
JEWELLERY:  Chop Zuey  Paz Eterna
RING:   Circa  RINGS Patchwork Princess
GLASSES:  [LCKY] Peeks Glasses // Wild
TOP:  [W&B] Lizzy Cropped Boatneck ALABASTER
DRESS:  * Morphine : Celeste's Dress (Chic)
LEGGINGS:  .:7th Store
NAILS:  [Bamboo] Nails  - Spring French
SHOES:  [Gos] Boutique - Eva Slingback V2 - Baby Pink
POSES:  Reasonable Poses

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Sunday, June 8, 2014

I Am A Great Sister.

dbdm2

My brother was forever trying to gross me out.  He dissected the clams in the clam chowder to prove to me I was clam gut eater.

dbdm1

I learned early on not to ever let him see the fear in my eyes because it just egged him on and he did not need any egging ... well he did but . . .  as in the raw, rotten kind.

He saw a bunch of chocolate covered ants and bumblebees at a store once and he decided that we should eat bugs to prove ultimately who was the the best person.  Everything we did was the ultimate universe deciding championships - except when I won, then it was just a "practice" run.  

Did I mention that I hated my brother???

I hide it well don't I?

Anyway he decided we could get our own bugs to eat and only sissy's need them covered with chocolate. He got some ants, grasshoppers and bees.  It was a dare to the death.  I told him that if he would eat a worm, I would eat all the bugs he had in front of him.

I was on.

He ate the worm and smiled at me the whole time he was chewing, even stopping to show me the contents of his mouth because well ... like I said ... there was something wrong with him.  When he was done he pushed the bugs on their plate over to me and told me to start eating.  He was still smiling.

I picked them up and dumped them in the garbage.  He was enraged.  I had to eat them.  I said I would.
He was screaming and carrying on that there was no way for me to beat him if I didn't eat the bugs.  This was the WORLD CHAMPION CONTEST and I wasn't even a contestant if I didn't try to eat them.

I have never been so happy to admit that I was both a liar and a loser.  I handed him his crown, his sash, and a couple of dandelions and kissed him on the cheek.

dbdm3

I did try to point out that he had a bit of worm stuck in his teeth.

It was the right thing to do.

I am a great sister.

SKIN:  *  Morphine : Victoria Peach Skintone
HAIR:   Asset  Love Letter Hair
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
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JACKET:  ~Sassy!~ Boho Chic - gold
PANTS:  BEPPIN! FIT MESH INDEPENDENT BUTTERFLY WHITE
HAIRBAND:  LaGyo Famous lady white
JEWELLERY:  Monochromatic Gift Box (Purple Moon  Creations)
SHOES:  [Gos] Boutique - Charlotte Mary Jane Pumps - Tangerine
PURSE:  Le Poppycock-Market Tote-Jardin
POSES:  Reasonable Poses

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Saturday, June 7, 2014

The Great Modern Romance.

nlpp1

Lingerie is one of those things that, after you spend a small fortune on, you wonder if perhaps you should just get a sheep's outfit, learn how to properly vocalize with "baas" and be done with it.

nlpp2

At least you would be warm.

Think about it, you spend a fortune, you put it on, you are half naked and cold, the room is dark, you are probably both a little drunk ... if it does its job, it is off in 2 nanoseconds.

I am not sure he even has had time to appreciate the genuine french lace or the luxurious feel of the silk that a thousand virginal caterpillars wove in the moonlight over the Tibetan Mountains.

While he lights the cigarettes you get your reasonable jammies on  . . .   the  flannel ones with the little sheep designs, he pulls on his sweat pants and his socks ... if he even took them off.

And as the years go by there is kind of a desperation behind all the lifting and cinching of the lingerie.  The lace and the bows are more carefully arranged and you need a little more material to be half naked.  The cost just goes up and up and still you are not promised that any of that is going to manage to pry the remote or the beer out of his hand.

nlpp3

Which is why kids today might have the right idea.  Be young, be wild, record it all, so that later in life you can fall back on the good ole days.

Romance?

Pull up the selfie of you hot and young in the awesome lingerie and show him and say "Remember when I wore this?

And then he searches his files and says, "And then this happened?" and he shows you his naked pride standing at full attention.

And then pull out the video you took when he raced over to your house that night, and watch it.

Get in your comfy jammies, save money, save time.  High five one another when the movie is over, play some nostalgic music, air kiss, put the teeth on the bedside table and sleep.

Does it get anymore romantic than that?


SKIN:  Essences - Siggy TDRF01 *light rose
HAIR:  > Asset < Sophie Hair
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
LINGERIE:  (SELDOM BLUE) Lottie Lingerie cincher + babydoll set - blue
(SELDOM BLUE) LOTTIE SHEER LINGERIE - BLUSH
POSES:  Reasonable Poses

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

All In A Name

ksem2

Aren't these lovely painted flowers?   Aren't they lovely on these pants and this top?  I can hear you nodding out their in viewer land.  I know you are nodding.  You should nod, even if you don't want to because it is a nice thing to do and I have had a crappy day.

ksem1

My point is that painted flowers on clothes look nice.  That is my point now, it was my point years ago when I painted flowers all over my aunts wedding dress.

Some people can wear white, others well ... they need that colour, lots of colour, all kinds of colour.  Did I mention colour??

My only mistake was that I should have painted them more up around her face where she really needed it.

ksem3

Oh ... and I shouldn't have signed my name ....


SKIN:  .::WoW Skins::. Nana Tan Nat
FEET:  SLink  AvEnhance Feet Female High
HAIR:  *Dura-Boys&Girls*41
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
GLASSES:  (Yummy) Diane Frames - Black
JEWELLERY:  Exquisite POE6 Gift for Wome
JACKET:  [Amarelo Manga] - Pamela Blazer
PANTS:  [Amarelo Manga] - Pamela Pants
PURSE:  {Indyra} Sweet Travels Tote - Color-Change Scarf Edition! Fog
SHOES:  Bens Boutique - Almina High Heel Red (slink high feet) at Cosmo Sale

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

The Closest I May Ever Get To A Baby Elephant.

llil1

I've always wanted a baby elephant.  I mean my kids keep buying me perfume and scarves and plaques that say I am a swell mom and I keep cutting out all the elephants I can find and pasting them over the perfume and the scarves and the plaques that say I am a swell mom in the Sears Catalogue.

llil2

I think there is something wrong with my kids.   They didn't have all that testing back when they were little, maybe the schools thought they were being kind in keeping it from me.

I bought a hallmark card for each of them, scribbled over the clowns and monkeys and balloons and drew elephants.  They said, "Happy Birthday in advance and by the way, your mom really wants a baby elephant."

I made anonymous phone calls and disguised my voice saying I was from the "Grant a Wish Foundation" and "your mom was so upset that she didn't win, she cried and cried because she really wanted a baby elephant.  I am phoning you because you are one of her kids and we think you should get her a baby elephant."

They hung up on me.

I finally had a friend who said that if I got her a white tiger she would get me a baby elephant.

So now I have to get pictures of white tigers and tape them over all the elephants and hope my kids get me a white tiger so I can give it to her and then she can give me a baby elephant.

I know it is kind of deceptive of me but I am desperate.

llil3

Oh what wicked webs we weave when we practice to deceive ... I hate that I can remember that like 100 years after my grandmother said it and my own kids can't remember to add "baby elephant" to the shopping list every time they go to Walmart.

I think this is pretty much real evidence of the dumbing down of the world.

I made dumb kids.

SKIN:  .::WoW Skins::. Nana Tan Nat
HAIR:  *booN YNO421 hair black/chocolate/purple
EYES:  Ibanez SmoothGlow Eyes - Cumin
MAKE-UP:  *elymode* makeup - Gluttony shadows - smooth
Boom Lipwax Goth
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash J curl Philisha Lashes
JEWELLERY:  ::HH:: Black Tourmaline Dion Set
PURSE:  Liziaah  [LIZ] Mesh Crystal Noirknuckle clutch
DRESS:  Liziaah[LIZ] - Crystal Noir outfit 5
SHOES: Liziaah [LIZ] Mesh Crystal Noir shoe
POSES:  Pose Sinfully

Ever wonder how my mind works that I come up with all this stuff?? Well ... I have no idea BUT if you enjoy this Blog you might be interested in Bliss/Aria's other blogs - find out more at Aria E. Appleford Blog. It is named after me. Because it is mine and we had a meeting and I proposed it, seconded it and voted it in. Unanimous! Join us on Facebook!