Wednesday, January 7, 2015

People Love Me.

Superstar!

I was at a very elegant dinner party the other night when the subject of Second Life came up. I think it went something like this. Someone was talking about how they had just scored one of the biggest sales their company had ever seen and someone else shared how they had just been promoted to president of the committee to oversee all things more important than anything the last person said.  I found myself standing up.  I tinkled my glass and said I had an announcement to make.  I had been working undercover in a world unknown to most of them, a world where I had boldly gone.  I was not even a man and I had gone.  Without permission or anything.  I had gone to … Second Life!!

There was a hushed silence in the room as everyone looked at me in awe.  I wondered if the halo over my head had just become brighter or whether their eyes were trying to tell them they needed to make an appointment with their doctor as soon as possible because they were all blinded and dazed.  I knew it had to be me because the snow was gone and it certainly could not be blamed on snow blindness.

And someone snorted in the back of the room and said that Second Life wasn’t real and I said … “It is so real.  It is scientifically real! ”   Then someone asked how I figured that and I told them that the people who created it were an accredited scientific LAB.  Hello?  Linden LAB??? People???

And then I announced that I could walk on water and fly.  I whipped out my handy dandy lap top and logged into Second Life.  Boy was I glad that I had dismantled my underground BDSM slave dungeon and given all the slaves the night off AND put away my “special tools” cause everyone gathered around and was peering at the screen. 


And then someone said, “but that’s not you, that’s an avatar!” and I looked at them through narrowed eyes and pointing to the screen said “THAT is the real me!  OMG you people are retarded. “

I had to go home because I just don’t have time for people who do not get how important I think I am. I was going to show them how just being on Second Life had increased my abilities on so many levels.   Multi-tasking alone, I mean I could be shopping, doing the banking, talking on the phone, having cyber sex AND be attending a board meeting all at once.  We have gone to a whole new level here folks.   We not only can do everything in Second Life . . . we frequently do.

I have signs above my head that say how busy I am and that I am a runner up in the 2005 Goddess of the Universe Contest. I have initials above my head that I have no idea what they even mean.

I have peeps!! I belong to groups with chat monitors for crying out loud. They notify me when they need names for their designs, or make me a special sparkly dress.  They share with me their personal wars and help to identify who we are all hating today.  They turn to me and ask for money when they need their third lung transplant in a year or when their puppy dies and they want to have it taxidermied into the pony they really wanted in the first place.   They are always asking me for input into what they should do next and whether I think their asses look fat enough in their new g-strings.  For the first time in my life I have fat asses as reference points that make my ass look awesomely tiny.  You can't just buy that kind of magic in real life. It really is all about perspective.  And gifts ... pffft ... They shower me with gifts.  I not only have junk drawers full of the stuff I have boxes of 100,000 broken down prims full of the shit"gifts." 

I AM IMPORTANT PEOPLE!!!

I have given other groups demos back in the day when I had more patience with the real world.  I gathered them around the computer and showed them how I can sit down at the piano, surrounded by all my alts and take requests.  In Second Life I can fill a room of people that like me and never argue.   AND, they are all wearing clothes I like.  You can't do that in real life either.  People get all weird when you try to dress them.  I stopped doing those demos when people refused to wait with me for everything to rez.  They judged me on being a cloud of smoke and never even stuck around to see my designer feet.  I can't throw pearls before swine.  I don't have any pearls.  I had a heavy paper weight and I have problems with distance.  My "before" was more like "at" and then it went "into" their forehead.  My reference "swines" were not as tall clearly.

I think some of the people I live with are finally getting it though, like hubby and the kids.  They seem to understand how important I am in Second Life and have stopped interrupting me for ridiculous things . . .  like dinner and which college they should attend.


Have to go 'cause there is a bus full of people going by and I want to show them all the names on my friends list !
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