Friday, February 20, 2015

It's All About World Peace.

jailbird 2

Having been relegated to staying off my feet, I find myself in a very uncomfortable position of having to ask for help.  

jailbird 1

After explaining to someone that I have been in agonizing pain since December 23rd and was unable to get out of the vehicle to come to their front door, they came down to see me.  Their comment was, after the hug, "what's wrong, you don't look very cheerful.?"

I admit I was at a loss as to what to say being as they had just been told I was on my way to another specialist and was in excruciating pain, AND drugged out of my mind with heavy duty pain killers.

"I'm sorry.  Forgive me forgetting my role in life is to cheer you up. What was I thinking?  I forgot it is all about you.  Knock knock ..."

I am grumpy, and miserable.

Hubby is trying make it easier on me.  He just stopped by my room to ask if I needed anything.  Isn't he sweet?

"World peace," of course that goes without saying but I always say it.  The one time that I don't will be the time they hand out the crown BECAUSE, although it was close, the other girl mentioned world peace and I didn't."

"Anything else?"

"Yes, the worms."

"The worms?"

"I know there is a cyclone coming and all God's creatures matter but I was praying for the birds last night, NOT the worms.  I don't like that God is trying to cheer me up with sick humour.  It isn't funny."

"They can't get into the house."  I know he rolled his eyes.  I could hear it in his voice.  He thinks I am being ridiculous and over-reacting.  But I am not.

You see what I don't get is how the worms all managed to climb out of the earth and make it to the patio and then get into the garage and make it almost all the way to the inner door.  Where do they think they are going?  More importantly how can my hubby not see it?  They aren't just out on a worm strolling loop that just HAPPENS to take them up to our back door and our inner garage door. This is an all out assault.

I am concerned about how they got the garage door opener out of the vehicle and opened the garage door so they could get in, without us hearing anything.  Worms are nowhere near as dumb or innocent as they look.  They either planned it all and probably drugged our food so we slept through the whole thing OR they do emit a high frequency electrical impulse that is not only working to take over our minds, but can operated remote controls ... remotely.



jailbird 3

"I take it you want me to put them back in the yard?"

"No."  
"They could come back." 
"I want you to kill them."

"World Peace . . . ?"

"If they can't swim they have no business being in the ground. Where do they think the water that falls from the sky is going to go?  If they are just taking advantage of the fact the birds are all hiding because of the cyclone, they are not to be trusted.  They will clearly make their move whenever given the chance."

"I suppose if they get in the house you could step on one and slip and fall and then I would be to blame."

"No, you would be dead.  That is what happens to bystanders, even the innocent ones, should a worm ever touch my foot."

My hubby went to get the worms.  Then I asked him if he could drive me by our friends house so she could come out and see me again.  I bet I look much more cheerful now.  De-worming does that for a girl.


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