Saturday, June 20, 2015

Fashion Entry.

jumpsuit 3

I am not sure what the people who brought us jumpsuits were thinking.

Presumably they called them that because they resembled the suits that people wear when they jump out of planes.  One piece pant suits probably made sense to them because who wants a blouse or shirt coming untucked on the way down and flapping in your eyes?  Also there are less things to accidentally hook on to a plane that flies to close or maybe even a bird.  Not to mention UFO's.

jumpsuit 2

No-one jumping out of a plane is going to have time to go into a bathroom and take the thing off to pee.  You jump, you scream, you land.  If you are still alive, you check your watch to see how many nanoseonds it actually took.  If you can't control your bladder for a few nanoseconds, you probably should not be jumping out of airplanes, even though I think they accept that those that pee their pants, are going to have to just go for it and deal with the consequences later. 

There are no cubicles in the sky.

Or privacy.  

But for those of us who are going shopping, or to a wedding, or  to work ... things that take more than a nanosecond, we do have to pee at some point.  We are afforded cubicles and privacy.  While no-one says we HAVE to use the washroom, it is kind of an expected, unwritten rule.

There is no room in most cubicles to stand AND close the door.  One must put one knee on the back of the toilet, one leg kissed up against the bowl and breathe in and lean as far back as possible, in order to close the door.    We are lucky to be able to find room for our elbows to bend so we can stand, pull our pants down and squat.  These things are not designed for the gymnastics of removing one's entire body from a jumpsuit that you can only enter and leave with great sweeping arm and leg movements, hops, contortions and vigorous swearing.  

I have always thought about the dangers of those jumpsuits.  I mean what if there was a fire alarm and you had to get out of the bathroom immediately?  There would not be time to get it back on again.   As it is when you leave the bathroom you end up looking like a whole lot more of recreational type things happened besides relieving oneself.  Your hair is messed, make-up smudged, you are breathing heavily and all sweaty.  Have you see the way other women look at you when you try to get near the sink?  Or how about the way they next person checks the cubicle to make sure there is no-one else in there?  

What if you are on a date and you are out in the woods and you have to pee and he says, "Go ahead, over there, I won't look,"  and he points to some tall grass, or tiny shrub?  No-one can hide completely naked behind grass or a little shrub.

I don't know about you but whenever I am out of doors and have to pee it is like there is a silent alarm triggered that only truckers and creepy looking men can hear and inevitably one of them drives or walks by. I could be wandering in a desert for 40 years and not see a single soul, but the moment you squat to pee .. BINGO, they appear.  

It is bad enough when you have to hike up your pants mid stream, and at least you have a blouse or shirt that you can kind of hunch a little and cover yourself.  With your jumpsuit lying around your ankles, there is nothing to be done but to stand up and pull and hope there is not signal for their phone to send any of the pictures they have just taken.

I think there are people in a small room somewhere that they mistreat and then poke and irritate them with a pencil and ask them to design something fashionable for women.  Jumpsuits came after a particularly cruel day in the fashion dungeons.  

jumpsuit 1

I didn't even get into what happens if you have to reach wayyy over your head for something ... 

SKIN:  Style by Kira - Lulu Skin
FEET:  SLink
EYES:  Egozy..Eyes Enigmatic Green
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash
BRACELET:  [BREATHE]-Soothe Bracelet
NAILS:  MoonDance: Square Extra Short Poodle Skirts
FLOWER for HAIR:  AsHmOoT_Acc Coll_Beach Bags &Tropical Head Flowers
OUTFIT:  LBC: Fury Jumpsuit (SOLID BLOCK 1)
SHOES:  LBC: Fury Pump (Lemon)
POSES:  Ma Vie
LOCATION:  Las Rocas
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