Wednesday, July 22, 2015

I Blame Rag Dolls and my Grandmother.

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I blame my extra weight on my grandmother telling me to pretend to be a rag doll and feel heavy in order to go to sleep.  Talk about brainwashing.  "Feel" heavy is just one step away from "be" heavy.

I bet no ballerina's mom ever said that to their kid and I really really wanted to be a ballerina.  Ok that is not true, I wanted to wear the shoes and the tu-tu's.  I was not in touch with the reality of hours of hard work bending your body in ways it is not meant to bend and breaking your toes in bloody pulps that for some reason we call it "art" and because there is movement "dancing" as opposed to the Chinese practice of binding feet and shuffling which we call "barbaric."


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My rule book is all over the place on these things.

Recently I am not sleeping much.  Try explaining that one to your doctor. 

"Why don't you think you are sleeping at night?"

 "I've lost my inner ragged doll. "

 I have no role models anymore.  Everything is durable hard plastic. Those dolls have blinking eyes that get stuck, or worse, they talk to you mocking you with a sing songy "I love you mommy."   Imagining those dolls makes me weightless and I figure an eating disorder on top of not being able to sleep could make me homicidal.  While that might provide me with a momentary sense of euphoria, it is not conducive to a long life or the well being of my "sometimes" loved ones . . . not to mention my "not even for a nanosecond" loved ones.  Besides, none of my grand kids are good with sharing their dolls.  They always tell their mommies on me.

So I lay awake at night trying to feel heavy and then not, because I believe you have to really commit to your weight loss plan, even when you are sleeping.  And I don't sleep because that morphs into concerns about world peace and there is just no way to lie in your bed at night fall asleep and take all the world conflict with you so that you only leave peace.

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I sure hope the world sorts itself out soon and settles down AND brings back rag dolls with new technology so that they are not heavy and girls like me can finally lose the extra weight . . . and sleep . . .  


SKIN:  Essences {Cutie Moon Candy Fair Gacha} 06
HANDS and FEET:  SLink
HAIR:  ""D!va"" Hair "Mia"
EYES:  Egozy..Eyes Enigmatic Green
LASHES:  Angel Rock Eyelash
EARRINGS:  [LIZ] Silhouette jewelry [Ice]
SKIRT AND TOP:  *COCO*_SheerPanelCropTop_Black
*COCO*_SheerPanelSkirt_Black
SHOES:  *YSsndYS* Madrid Glossy Black
POSES:  BAUHAUS
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