Saturday, July 25, 2015

Life is One Big Costume Party, or it Should Be.

botm1

I still think life would be much simpler if people wore costumes.  We don't always have time, or the inclination, as to inquire of people how their day is going and thus tailor our interaction so as to keep everyone alive.

If those women intending to play the role of the evil stepmother queen/witch etc were to dress the part, it would save so much heartache.  I would know to step away from the mirror the moment they enter the women's washroom .. . using the hand sanitizer in my purse as opposed to sticking around to wash my hands. And, I would say something like, "have you done something new with your hair?  You look so much younger today ... really nice!!"  That way the likelihood of getting stabbed or spit on are minimized.

Especially when neither blood or spittle go with your current costume.  And I don't have any that do.


I think that is why kids like costumes so much.  Everyone knows exactly what role they are to play, if any, in that kids world for the day.   You can even pick your battles.  Who knows, you might escape their growing up with your sanity intact.  I should point out that I am not a doctor, and I am not promising anything, but it is always nice to dream.

Spiderman is more likely to be open to being told to eat his vegetables, super heroes need their strength, than he is ever going to be about you telling him to get down from side of the radio tower he has decided to climb.  The teenager dressed like a princess may respond kindly when you fetch things for her, bowing as you hand them off, instead of taking your head off, sans the sword,  when you ask her to wash out her cereal bowl before she leaves for school.  Some things you just do not even attempt when a costume is screaming, "stop, drop and roll," or "assume the fetal position."

Just one little word of advice, just because your husband has on work overalls ... never ever assume that means he will be playing the role of Joe Handyman today and he might actually get around to fixing the downstairs toilet so that his mother does not get to wander through your bedroom on her way to use the only working bathroom in the house which happens to be your ensuite.   Men will just pick up whatever happens to be handy while they sit on the bed and consider getting up.  If they were drunk enough the night before, it might even be the princess costume you wanted to wear today.


botm 2

In that case, as always, you are best not to fight for it back.  Ugly princesses are stronger than they look.  Just put on the martyr outfit with the velcro for the back of your hand that goes with the rest of it on the band around your forehead.  Attach hand and begin moaning.  Go show your mother in law ... she will be in your bedroom rummaging through your things.

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