Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Sign Posts of Life.

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I like to carry warning signs around with me ... Like "out of order" for those people who just get on your nerves because they are wrong and they keep on talking long after you have pronounced them "idiots."   I mean there is absolutely no need for further evidence once the verdict is handed down, even if it supports my original sentence.  I consider it doing the rest of the world a favour.  No one likes putting money into a machine and not getting what they wanted, and then some smart ass admits it has not been working for the entire work.

Think teenagers ... they could wear the sign for most of 7 years and that sign could be sooo helpful.



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I have a "danger" sign too.  I use it for when I am in a bad mood or when someone in the office forgets to mention we are out of coffee and we go hours with no caffeine which is really a life and death situation.  It works if any legal proceedings come out the incident.  They were warned.

"Stop. Drop.  Roll" has some fun results but nothing beats the Australian,  "Slip .  Slop . Slap."  Sometimes I skip the "slip" and the "slop" and go straight in for the "slap."   You just have to insist they looked a little sunburnt and you were following the government ads and performing a public service act.  You could call this "Skip Slip and Slop.  Slap!"

Some people cannot read.  

With those cases, a visual aid can be a Godsend.  

A monkey on your back could work when you are out of meds and desperately need them.   You know when you just want to be left the hell alone?   Just make sure that it is a glow in the dark monkey so that your hubby can see it and knows not to even think about crossing the pillow mountain you erected between him and you in the bed.   I learned the value of the glow in the dark monkey the hard way.  I had a normal monkey until I woke up one morning and the monkey had clearly been interfered with at some point during the night.

I didn't have the heart to tell hubby.

He said it was the best sex ever.

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For me too.


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