Sunday, August 23, 2015

A Disciplined Life.

LIRWC1

I was talking to my children one day about punishment and they asked me how come only children have the naughty chair and are made to sit over in a corner.  They pointed out that grandma misbehaves sometimes.  I told them that it was because you have to sit one minute for every year of their age so a 4 year old sits 4  minutes - a 7 year old 7 minutes.  I suggested that if they made grandma sit in the corner for her age she could be gone for days and then I said that some older people probably died while they were sitting on the naughty chair and went undiscovered for days.   THIS was why children should learn their lessons while they were young.

I caught them the next day examining some stains on their "naughty chair" on account of it was a hand me down.   They wanted to know what kind of stains dead people make.


LIRWC2

I think the whole premise of sitting on a naughty chair and that the time should be 1 minute for each year of your age, is ridiculous actually.  I would just like to say that sitting there for almost an hour just gives me a chance to come up with even better plans so ya,  Super Nanny/mind controller .... sit on that one. 

There was really no reason to focus on that day and the disinformation I had given, as sticking out as anything special beyond any of the other days I had done the same.  I missed the classed on parenting where they tell you everything so that you know everything so when your kids ask you can give them answers.  I just made it up as I went along. 

Hey everyone survived their childhood ... Not the least of which ... was me. 

My kids grew up  and one of them went on to do projects for their work like studies into the "Modalities of Disciplining Children and Possible Harmful Outcomes."   Shortly after her big presentation,  I woke to a mob outside my house with picket signs screaming stuff about "elder abuse" and demanding that I free Grandma or let someone in to check on her and make sure she was alright.   

No way was I going to let some stranger in my house when at least 3 of my doilies needed rearranging.  I had to scream out at them that grandma was dead!!

First there was silence, then people started crying and leaving flowers for her and the police were called.
I was charged with grandmacide and hauled away.  No-one seemed to hear me say she died 12 years ago and we never even had naughty chairs when I grew up - we had big black belts and hands ... lots and lots of slappy hands.  I tried to show them the scars and tell them I was a victim and all they could do was cry for my grandma.   I tired to explain I was using creative license to strike fear into my children being as we were not allowed to do anything but try to buy their good behaviour with toys and gifts and promises of trips to Disneyland,  and I was all out of money.  I said I did it for the health and safety of the world. 

Have you ever noticed that the world is incredibly ungrateful and seldom ever thanks us for our sacrifice?

I was so flustered and confused that when I got to make my one phone call, I called the emergency number, except I am in Australia and I called the Canadian number.  The RCMP told me they were snowed in, but even if they weren't, they would not be able to make it.  They are not allowed to  take their horses on planes and they can't swim.

Those police were also raised by parents reduced to using "time out's" to try and get kids to stop lighting fire bombs and joyriding in stolen cars.  They only joined because they liked guns and could put their knowledge of how to steal cars to good use.  They only joined the police force because all the other careers required that they finished Jr. High.

OK I lied about calling the RCMP.   I am just doing my best to perpetuate stereotypes and put false  information out there as apparently I rock at it.  I motivated an entire mob to want to kill me!!  I am waiting on the naughty chair for my kids to come and get me.  I am expecting a long lecture on "this is what you get for embellishing the truth," and a whole book on, "the damage done to children when you mess with their minds. " 

LIRWC3

Parents get blamed for everything.

No wait ... people wept for grandma.   I get blamed for everything.


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