Wednesday, August 19, 2015

A Perfect Field Flower.


One of the big adjustments to coming to Australia has been to understand the whole racing/gambling culture.   In addition to it being a big part of their life, the costuming that goes along with the activities is highly entertaining.  Perhaps the only day people dress up fancier than for their own wedding, is race day.

I love all the permeations of "fashion" that show up.  Unlike some women who feel the need to hand out permission slips for what others are allowed to wear, I love seeing women wear whatever they choose, regardless of what society deems appropriate for their body type - especially younger women.  If you are not allowed to celebrate your sense of self as a teenager - when exactly does that kick in?  I don't care if they are too heavy, too thin, not enough breast, not enough class, etc etc to wear THAT dress.  I say go for it.


I do love the whole hat, fascinator thing and what some of them come up with.   It reminds me of that day in elementary when the teacher handed us all paper plates with elasticized straps attached to hold them on, and then dumped out boxes filled with odds and ends of silk and plastic flowers, lace, material, broken jewellery etc, and gave us each a big bottle of glue.  It was like a WWF Rumble as we fought for the bits we wanted for our hats.    I still have a scar on my left elbow shaped like Mindy Blackwell's retainer.  My brother HAS Mary Blackwell's retainer.  She ended up with the garden gnome we all wanted.  

Later we got to parade around in front of the other classes and we thought we were awesome, regardless of the snorking and laughter going on around us.  We were all certain they were laughing at the others - not our beautiful creations - although farm boys with fancy dress hats on their head was probably one heck of a missed opportunity for those of use whose livelihood would eventually come to rely on blackmail.

I had learned how to control my own snorking by attending church with the older ladies and seeing what they wore.  You eat your snork after facing the fire and brimstone speech of the minister, followed by actual fire and brimstone from your sore butt, courtesy of Aardvark's Belt.

I had to do a refresher course when I came here.  I think what tipped me over the edge was how serious everyone is about it all.  Fashions on the Field is a full body contact, heavy duty, competition sport.  Most of the unsolved mysteries in Australia centre around well dressed women who probably would have won, but disappeared on race day.  Somewhere there is a landfill of cocktail dresses and expensive fascinators and bones ... and no Aussie woman will EVER tell.   Aussies invented Australia Rules Football AND took Fashions on the Field to a whole new level.

I have a friend who always competes and usually wins.  She spends hours planning her outfit for each race.  Be reminded I live outside a tiny town in rural Australia not far from the coast.  We have a shop and a half to buy dresses from.  I am not sure even Australia cares about the town I am from, and believe no-one cares if we die let alone who won Fashions on the Field.  She and her husband have a horse that races and they have invited us to attend the festivities some times.  She invites us and then reminds me I MUST wear a hat and offers to share one of hers.  

I say  "offer" but she is on the ground sobbing, holding on to one of my legs and begging.   I always assure her I have it handled.

Then she cries even harder.

OK, those of you who know me, know that is the absolute worst thing to ever say to me.  I cannot help myself.  It is like this switch gets turned on and you know I am either going to show up sans the hat completely or else wear something really .... strange.  Like a big paper flower with the face cut out of it, similar to the costume you wore for your elementary schools drama production of Little Red Riding Hood when you were a flower in the garden.  

Probably not as good as that one though because it had been a long time since I had coloured anything and colouring in the lines is not a life long lesson your retain, like riding a bike.

The trick is to act like you think you are beautiful.  I am pretty sure it was my friend who sabotaged my attempts to register for the Fashions on the Field competition.  All I know is she and several of her other friends volunteered to come with me to the bathroom and then "somehow,"  the stall I was in got jammed and I could not get out. 


I don't know why the invitations to attend stopped after that. 

I was just getting started.

SKIN:   .:WoW Skins::. V2 Masha
HAIR:  *Milk* Hair! The Top Knot *Blacks*
EYES:  Egozy..Eyes Intense Collection
LASHES:  ATIA's Whisper Lashes
OUTFIT:  [LeL.Ultra]-GUILE/red
SHOES:  *TOXIC* Chelsea Ankle Boots CHERRY
COLLAR:  =Zenith=High Elf Lace Collar
EARRINGS:  * Donna Flora * BROCADE and; jewels earrings NC

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