Monday, August 17, 2015

Hot Pants Are A Gateway Drug for All Things Sin.


I think hot pants were the final straw that broke my grandparents back in the seventies.  We were pretty much heading toward complete nudity - we had burned our bras, people were going commando, we did not want to wash or comb our hair, our skirts kept getting shorter and shorter and the bathing suits were pretty much three threads on a string.  You could put a hat on and white gloves for church, but let's face it, we were all lost causes of the hippie culture.

And please note - despite some similarities between our dress and the patterns and styles used by the Hutterites ....we were trying for Hippie.  Don't be trashing farm folk.

I tried to dress fashionably but it is hard to carry off hot pants, which almost always included tall high heeled boots, around the barn yard.  

I remember the "talk" my grandmother decided to have with me.


First she actually spoke to me.  That was always a big give away that she wanted to "talk."  Secondly, the maid was hovering in the background with lots of cleaning supplies, waiting, ever ready . . . 

Grandma told me that they used to do fan dances ... and the idea was that the woman was naked but the fans covered her and she would just move them and show small "suggestions" of her body.  I have to admit I was really confused.  First of all the idea that my grandmother knew anything about fan dancers was kind of disturbing and second of all I had no idea what bits of the human body were referred to as "suggestions."   She said that she found that much more exciting because it left things to people's imaginations which was much more interesting than blatant nudity.  It took some of the pleasure out of "things."

Yes my grandmother was having a talk with me about strippers, and she was using them as an example she was hoping I would emulate.  

I am hoping to graduate therapy next week for the damage that talk caused.  No-one needs to know what their grandmother finds exciting, or that she worries about pleasuring anything.    Luckily I was versant enough in grandmaese to know she wanted me to cover up more.  She wanted me to believe it was more sexy to cover up than to just stand their blatantly naked.

I looked at her plaid apron over her dark floral dress, her pantyhose wrinkled at her ankles and was so grateful to have her as a role model for my blossoming womanhood.  She may have been the first Paris Hilton or Kim Kardashian, role model for the pre-teen wanna be sex queen.  As I said ... therapy ... may graduate next week ...


I learned the lesson.

I bought really big fans. 

Want to see my "suggestions?"

SKIN:  [theSkinnery] Eniko 3
EYES:  Egozy..Eyes Intense Collection
LASHES:  ~Hush~ Lashes - Doll
MAKE-UP:  EYESHADOW:  [:ME:] Audrey EyeShadow P2 (Dark 2)
                     LIPSTICK and TEETH: [PF] Elly - Glam Lipstick/Teeth - (Coral Splash
SHOES:  [whatever] Gallium - Brown
JEWELLERY:  Zibska [Group Gift] Lydie
POSES:  Ma Vie

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